Haha "Hardly Normal", love it!
To be honest I would stick with Windows 7. I have Windows 8 but will not be upgrading to it yet, not a huge fan of it. I do not like the idea of using Windows 8 on a laptop, it is much better suited for a tablet.
May I ask a few needs/wants?
- What is your budget?
- You mentioned a SSD (Solid State Drive) but would you rather more storage space and slower drive or less storage space and a faster drive?
- Your main use? (Gaming, surfing the web, storage, photo/video editing)
Here is a review I found.
http://www.laptopmag.com/review/laptops/asus-u38n.aspx
Battery life is not so good which is a concern.
Once I know more about what you are after I will have a look around.