dad jokes

ving (David) · #1 10-05-2007, 04:13 PM

post your favourite dad joke...
definition for thoser that dont know what one is: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dad+joke

Q: whats brown and sticky?

A: a stick...

(you can almost hear the forum software groaning with that one...)

erick (Eric) · #2 10-05-2007, 04:22 PM

Dad: My dog has no nose!

4 Yr old daughter: How does he smell?

Dad: Terrible!!

4 Yr old daughter: <giggles uncontrollably>

I could keep my daughter laughing for 20 minutes just going round and round with this one!

Outbackmanyep · #3 10-05-2007, 04:44 PM

Or......

Me: Daaaaad i feel like an icecream....
DAD: Thats funny...you dont look like one!

duncan · #4 10-05-2007, 05:04 PM

Dad can we go to the zoo today.

We don't have to go anywhere son, your mothers gone Ape since i bought the new scope.

ballaratdragons (Ken) · #5 10-05-2007, 10:12 PM

Fred: My Dog doesn't eat meat

Bob: Why not?

Fred: I don't give him any

nightsky · #6 10-05-2007, 10:18 PM

G'Day,
Young boy's pup has just died.

Father: It's ok Billy,the little dog is with God now
Billy: What would God want with a dead dog!!

Gargoyle_Steve (Steve) · #7 11-05-2007, 05:10 AM

(A man is in the Doctor's examination room)

Man : I have a terrible pain in my side.

Doctor : Does it hurt when you do this? (poking the mans ribs)

Man : Yes!!

Doctor : Then stop poking it!

Ric · #8 11-05-2007, 08:35 AM

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?

A. A Walk

Cheers all

fringe_dweller · #9 11-05-2007, 11:04 AM

who could forget the classic..

it takes all night, to do what i used to do all night

ving (David) · #10 11-05-2007, 01:31 PM

driving past a cemetary...

Dad: there's the dead center of town.
son: ... groan
Dad: must be popular
son: why?
Dad: cause people are dying to get there!

boom boom!

Outbackmanyep · #11 11-05-2007, 03:50 PM

What do you call a fly with a hundred teeth?

A zipper!

Geoff45 (Geoff) · #12 11-05-2007, 04:52 PM

Did you hear about the guys who tried to rob a bank in Canberra?
They were caught in the ACT.

styleman333 · #13 12-05-2007, 08:15 AM

An old guy is about to celebrate his 90th birthday , and all his mates at the nursing home decide to get him a hooker as a big suprise.
The day of his birthday arrives and theres a knock at the door . The old fella gets up , walking frame in hand and answers the door, There standing before him is a gorgeous blonde, huge knockers , dressed in a nurse outfit " Hi grandpa !" she gushes " im here to give u super sex !"
The old fella thinks for a moment then says " Great !, i'll take the soup !"

styleman333 · #14 12-05-2007, 11:48 AM

Oh hang on , that may not be a Dad joke

John Saunders · #15 14-05-2007, 08:31 PM

Quick - pull my finger....

freespace · #16 14-05-2007, 10:37 PM

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.

Ric · #17 15-05-2007, 12:32 PM

Hi John, I nabbed my godson with that when he was about 6, he laughed so hard he wet himself now I have ammo on him for his 21st.

Cheers

ving (David) · #18 15-05-2007, 02:38 PM

lol! is this thread still going!

John Saunders · #19 15-05-2007, 09:41 PM

Yep, Ric, that's right. There are a couple of things which are timeless when it comes to jokes - burps and farts! It doesn't stop with six year-olds. Try a class full of grade 8 boys...that's the main reason why smoking was banned in schools...the whole place would go up in one giant methane explosion.

The first time I came across the "pull my finger" joke was with Bill Cosby quite some years ago.

Cheers and happy joking!

ballaratdragons (Ken) · #20 16-05-2007, 12:22 AM

True story - A group of Psychologists did research on what constitutes a funny joke.
Their research discovered that if you include a Duck in your joke, it is funnier!

And these guys get paid to find out these things?

Lets test their theory:

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It thought it was a Duck.

Nope, wasn't funny, and it had a Duck in it