What a Sad World

[sil (Steve)]

Leon, I was on my way to work along the lakeshore openly taking photos of feathered birds, nowhere near anybody else. A group of joggers (all female) stopped near by and abused me of being a pedophile and said they were going to fetch the police. Yeah makes me want to hit these ignorant ^&***^^^s and the politicians and media outlets who've brainwashed people into seeing another human being as either a pedophile, terrorist or both...

...then they wonder how serial killers get started.

[LewisM]

Remind me not to walk along the edges of the Molonglo or Burley-Griffon with a camera - have wanted to many of these chilly mornings.

[SkyWatch (Dean)]

Hi Leon,

Back to the first post: I am so very happy to hear of a loving grandfather who is being a good, positive role model to his granddaughter! Children need to receive affection and know that it is OK for males to express positive, loving feelings that are not sexual in any way.

Reading between the lines (not very difficult!) I can hear a lot of hurt people responding to your initial comments, and I agree with them: the "politically correct" approach can be bewildering and very hurtful! We certainly have a long way to go as a society.

I think it is important (and a step forward in society) that people are aware of the possibility of abuse, and that they take it seriously- but it is sad that the pendulum has swung so far that just being a male around children is treated as suspicious. Most of my professional life has been spent working with children, and I am very aware of the many problems that we face. I remember the first time I attended a tutorial group for a Sociology subject called "Family, State and Society". I was the only male in a group of about 20: and the vibe was "It's a man: kill!!!" It turned out that every one of those women had been abused in some way by a male, and it took a lot of listening before I was able to get past their justifiable fears.

A very sad thing for me is that there are times that I can see when a child desperately needs a hug, but I can't give it, so I have to come up with other, non physical ways of giving them the affirmation they need...

Unfortunately many children have been abused and are being abused, and have no idea of what it means to be loved and respected and enabled to achieve their potential in a caring environment. It is a privilege to be able to provide such an environment and role model for children, and it is only by doing so that we will achieve true change for the good in our society.

Can I just make a plea that if we (i.e.: grandfathers, fathers, male role models in any way...) come across or are vilified by the sort of prejudice that Leon encountered that we don't counter it by angry responses (even if we are feeling like it!!!) - because that potentially negates the good we have been doing for that child, and justifies the prejudice in the eyes of the accuser. So well done Leon, and keep up the good work!

I, for one, will continue to show my granddaughter the affection she needs: and I will hug her in public if that is the appropriate response. If someone calls me to task for doing this, I will either respectfully move on, or (if appropriate) thank them for their concern.

- Dean

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by SkyWatch

If someone calls me to task for doing this, I will either respectfully move on, or (if appropriate) thank them for their concern.

- Dean

My last encounter with this crap was from an aggressive female and I responded calmly with a statement that made her pause, "Feminism exists because men allow it to exist... and that position is subject to change", which is a basic fact. Pendulums swing both ways...

I'm done with taking it on the chin

[leon]

Thank you so much, I read all your responses and then read them again.

My darling girl is safe when we go out, and if we need a hug so be it,

Stuff em

Leon

[PeterM]

Originally Posted by leon

Thank you so much, I read all your responses and then read them again.

My darling girl is safe when we go out, and if we need a hug so be it,

Stuff em

Leon

Onya Leon! Never ever stop hugging your grandkids even in public Leon.

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by leon

Thank you so much, I read all your responses and then read them again.

My darling girl is safe when we go out, and if we need a hug so be it,

Stuff em

Leon

'Ave at em!

[alan meehan (Alan)]

I couldn't believe what I was reading on the net today about a bloke in America that found a lost little girl in the park and was taking her around to see if he could find her parents asking people if she belong to them then up from behind himm comes the girls father and belts the guy up calling the police ,the police try to explain to the miss guilded father who was not looking after his daughter at all,that the man was only trying to help .so what did the father do put the guys photo on social media and called him a pervert the guy has hade to leave town because of the death threats could you believe that
AL

[leon]

Alan that is un believable and so wrong, the poor fellow, i bet if were a female things would be different.

Leon

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by alan meehan

I couldn't believe what I was reading on the net today about a bloke in America that found a lost little girl in the park and was taking her around to see if he could find her parents asking people if she belong to them then up from behind himm comes the girls father and belts the guy up calling the police ,the police try to explain to the miss guilded father who was not looking after his daughter at all,that the man was only trying to help .so what did the father do put the guys photo on social media and called him a pervert the guy has hade to leave town because of the death threats could you believe that
AL

That's nothin! I reckon you could walk from Melbourne to Sydney on the graves of fathers who have been killed by the family court in this country, including blokes I knew!

Read it... and bleed: http://relatingtomen.com/blog/if-men-were-whales/

[leon]

Thank you Rom, I did read it and followed through

Leon

[04Stefan07 (Stefan)]

That is terrible, Leon.

The world has changed a lot, even from when I was growing up in the 90s it's a different place today!

Some people mate, I swear. It only takes a few to ruin it for all of us.

Ignore them mate and enjoy your time with your granddaughter.

[csb (Craig)]

Many men who have gone through divorce feel victimised and that the system favours women. It is certainly understandable these guys feel so unfairly treated when they are forced to hand over usually at least half their assets.

However, it's such a bore when these guys start acting the victims and raving about a system that discriminates against men. These ramblings seem to only be enthusiastically listened to by other men who have been through similar or by those who abused their ex.

We live in a system built by men. Maybe that's the problem.

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by csb

Many men who have gone through divorce feel victimised and that the system favours women. It is certainly understandable these guys feel so unfairly treated when they are forced to hand over usually at least half their assets.

However, it's such a bore when these guys start acting the victims and raving about a system that discriminates against men. These ramblings seem to only be enthusiastically listened to by other men who have been through similar or by those who abused their ex.

We live in a system built by men. Maybe that's the problem.

You are completely deluded. Here is one little example for you. A woman decides, for what ever reason, that she does not want to be in a marriage anymore. So, she goes to the bank and cleans out your accounts. She then goes to the police and alleges domestic violence. The magistrate issues a 30 day restraining order. You get served that restraining order either while you are at work, or when you get home to an empty house. You are arrested if you try to contact your children, for breaching the restraining order. You are now potentially broke and living on the street.

One month later, you go to court to defend yourself and get access to your children. You are told the matter will be referred to the Family court and you MIGHT get a hearing in a year. If you are lucky, you'll see your children 2 days in 14. In the meantime... she has established a "status quo" where you have been removed from your life. When the matter finally gets heard in court, her legal aid lawyer reiterates that the status quo has been established and the Family Court, "acting in the best interests of the children", maintains it. She NEVER has to prove any accusation she makes; she gets away with perjury, you lose everything; children, home and a sizeable chunk of your income until your children get to 18 years of age. You live in poverty and have no say in how the money that is taken from your income is spent. She, gets to live it up. She gets to be a vindictive bit*ch whenever she wants and withholds access to your children... It happens ALL THE TIME. Take her to court and wait a year to get any response, which is usually completely meaningless.

You wonder why men kill themselves in droves and are increasingly killing their ex-wives and children? Put yourself in the shoes of those who get done over every year, tens of thousands, and pray you don't join them. It is in deed, a VERY SAD WORLD.

Before preaching to others about how boring it is, go get a dose of reality and learn some facts.

[Kunama]

Originally Posted by csb

Many men who have gone through divorce feel victimised and that the system favours women. It is certainly understandable these guys feel so unfairly treated when they are forced to hand over usually at least half their assets.

However, it's such a bore when these guys start acting the victims and raving about a system that discriminates against men. These ramblings seem to only be enthusiastically listened to by other men who have been through similar or by those who abused their ex.

We live in a system built by men. Maybe that's the problem.

Spoken like someone who has zero experience of how the system really operates........ having dealt with a lot of domestic situations in 21 years of policing, I have seen how the system "works".
I assume you don't have children...
Picture this scenario: (It has happened !!! ) You are walking along with your child in a shopping centre when you child walks a few metres away and is scooped up by a drug addicted female in her twenties, you rush to grab your child but she yells: " Help this pedophile is trying to take my child...." the two guys nearby knock you to the ground and the druggie disappears into the crowd. Only the fact that a man standing nearby saw what happened and stopped the woman running off saves your child.....

Keep your kids within your arm's reach !!!

[strongmanmike (Michael)]

The Narrative in Australia around domestic violence and family violence (they are different things) gets twisted and these terms are interchanged all the time to make an argument sound better.

In Australia, mothers kill more children than fathers do.

Australia's worst serial child killer is a woman

Australia's worst multiple child killer is a woman

Many men are victims of family violence and homicide

Many women are perpetrators of family violence and homicide

These people do not form part of the National narrative around Family Violence and this creates a lack of understanding and prevents the full extent of the associated problems from being addressed properly.

No one should be ignored simply because they don't fit in with your message.

Mike

[FlashDrive (Poppy)]

Originally Posted by AussieTrooper

Yep. Sad. And it's only getting worse. This kind of attitude has seen the number of male teachers drop to near zero in many schools. Men are too scared to take the job, as they know that one day they will almost certainly be accused of something.

That is so true....

[Renato1 (Renato)]

You don't mention the gender of the person doing the false accusations. I'd be interested to know, as it has relevance as to the mindset of who has it in for grandfathers.
Regards,
Renato

[sil (Steve)]

Originally Posted by leon

Thank you so much, I read all your responses and then read them again.

My darling girl is safe when we go out, and if we need a hug so be it,

Stuff em

Leon

Yep, also try to explain to her the actions of others and why they are inappropriate too. So she doesn't learn to immitate them herself. I dont have my own children but have been around many in my life, used to babysit, and these days i've become attached to some neighbours who've been helpful in my time of need and I love their girls dearly. They are very well balanced individuals (I find it easy to dislike children who are selfish and demanding) but at 2 and 5 these two are far better people than most adults I know. But also being a single disabled male I am painfully aware of the looks I get from others if I am interacting with the girls. I don't try to deamand affection from them but if they come to me for a hug they can have one, if they have akward questions to ask I try my best to give them an unbiased straight forward answer. I find if you act or talk childish to children thats what they take on board and behave, but if you talk to them as you do other adults they respond in a more mature way. When they ask those awkward innocent questions dont avoid them, try to give a clear simple answer responsible answer, and where possible try to take them through a process where they can work out or find the answer for themselves. My biggest worries for my neighbours girls will be primary and highscool, especially fads and peer pressure, I'd hate to see them change into horrible greedy people. I probably wont live long enough to see though and I agree feminism pendulum has swung too far, many females dont see their discrimination in what they do and say towards females is itself sexist. Sexism is one gender discriminating against another. That simple. No mention of male or female or transgender or whatever. So yes in the past it was mostly males against females but now we're getting females against males. Its going to take ever individual human being to change it, not laws, as its a cultural thing, something we learn from our parents growing up, something we learn from our teachers and peers. It will take generations to dillute and remove but it starts with every individual to think about their actions and words (using gender neutral terms where gender is not the subject). And don't think someone did or din't do something because of your gender, you can be dislike by others for other reasons or perhaps someone else was actually the better person for the job instead of you. Anyone who thinks their gender is enough reason to be given a job or payrise has much bigger problems they should seek councilling on.

I'm not say discrimination doesnt happen, being disabled I get it every day working in a government department that makes big claim on being tolerant when they aren't, but when you dont get what you want don't immediately play the discrimination card.

[sil (Steve)]

Sorry for the rant, but Leon I'm with you "Stuff 'em", just keep being the best role model you can be and damn what anyone else thinks.