gday all
not my joke of course but reasonably funy (or not)
What Retired People Do!
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well for example, the other day I went into town and went to a shop in Grenfell Street. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out
there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on mate, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.
So I called him a piece of dog bleep . He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third
ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't give a damn. I came into town by train.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at my age.
not to offensive i hope ?
got an other one
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
