The Q&A are a riot LOL........my sides hurt
Q: G'day, I'll try again, I accidentally hit the enter key with me hooked hand whilst trying to type the previ-arse question - does it do ROAD KILL ?? We have several small animals now drying out on the bull-bar and need to re-hydrate them and cook 'em real quick, before the dogs get em. Thanks bro !! 18-Dec-09
A: Good day to you kind sir. In answer to your question, yes, absolutely, that is what it was built for before the bloody metros made it illegal to buy carcasses from people on the side of the road.
Q: Gday cobber, Im looking at bidding on ya nice Outback bbq for me mate but b4 I do I want your opinion if me mate is saveable from this bloody metro disease. Ya see he used to have one just like yours, but when he married some scrawny sheila from the city he sold his HQ ute and bought one of those dinki di AWD kiddie taxis with shiny 20 inch chrome wheels and one of those six foot long stainless monstrousities with the wok heater/hotplate temp thingamajig. What really worries me is he now he calls prawns shrimps and he now drinks plonk instead of VB! Can he be saved? I got really worried for him when he took his bluey to the pound because his missus said he might attack her toy pomeranium. Should we also get him another bluey to get him back on tarck or is he to far gone m8? Pick up aint a problem unless u reckon it might get damaged cause u see my ute is still full of last years firewood that I never got around to splitting, but it should be right on top right m8? Ta "Drongo" Dave 18-Dec-09
A: How are you Drongo ? Your mate is on the brink and to pull him back needs drastic action. My advice would be to slap him every time he mis pronounces a word. He says plonk, you slap him and give him a beer. It will take some time but I find a firm hand is sometimes what is needed.
Q: sorry it looks a bit small i was looking for something i can throw a kangaroo leg some koala steaks and maybe some rabbit. do you have a larger version? or know of someone selling a wood fired gallon drum BBQ? 18-Dec-09
A: Sorry bonza, the wood fired drums are bloody hard to come by. This will fix you up, just eat a bit as you go, your not a Kiwi are ya ? they love to cook up half a zoo and eat it in one sitting.
Q: Hey Mate I really need your advice on a serious problem! I had a feeling the Missus has been cheating on me for a while now. Usual signs, phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, always out with the girls, home late, doesn't want sex, etc. So the other night I went out to my man shed and hid behind my boat waiting for her to come home. A car turned up around midnight and out she got, adjusting her skirt, pulled her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I saw it! A hairline crack in the outboard mounting bracket. Is that something that can be welded? Would this BBQ attract mates with the appropriate welding skills to fix this? Cheers 18-Dec-09
A: Hi mate, its lucky you came to me when you did. You better get it welded unless you are planning on selling it then you could always just use some bondcrete. Cheers cobber.
Q: dam got out bid....!!! i got word of this wild auction going on back home by email, so i looked at it and could not help myself but to bid.. the ship was a little hard to come buy, still working on that..dam somali pirates got to get past them too making me home sick..outback steak house in usa with its blooming onion just does not cut it once you have experienced the real deal back home..good luck on the auction mate, you know they dont sell aussie snags over here in usa..we have a snag shortage..bbq without real snags just isnt right either.. but i digress, qantas im coming home... australia rocks 18-Dec-09
A: thankyou my stateside friend. We will be waiting here with snags and beers
Q: I'm sort of half interested......................... .........................do you think I can carry it on my bike ? 18-Dec-09
A: Hi there sport. It might be easier if the bbq carried you and your bike on it ? You could possibly rig up a sail ?
Q: Slates here, OK I see your point on the "knowing your enemy bit" and are humbled by it. But bids up to $17.50 already!!...May even go over the $20 mark!!...But what would you do with such a windfall???..cheers slates 18-Dec-09
A: My fingers are crossed, I could almost buy a carton of export !
Q: Hi There. I have been outbid several times on this BBQ as am a serious buyer. Unlike all the other jokers who ask these dumb questions. Mate, I think they are pulling the piss out of you. It's just not right. But then again, how do you have such a great knowledge of Latte? Are you a wolf in sheeps/carramar clothing...cheers, slates 18-Dec-09
A: How you doing Slates. Nope, latte sickens me but you have to know your enemy. I have gathered intel whilst sitting in my truck ogling women in low cut tops. I see these bald, earing wearing, fresh tatted "men" sittig back and looking at each others manicured nails instead of all the talent going past. Know your enemy my friend and then destroy it with a bbq like this one. It fries up metrosexuality and craps out retrosexuality.
Q: Do you reackon some marinated venison steaks would cook real good on this BBQ? 18-Dec-09
A: I dont know ? Is that a meat ? What was it called when it was alive ? Strewth cobber, I would love to help you out but I honestly dont know. I know meat tastes good cooked on there ?
Q: G'day mate.I'm from Qld where men are men,every real man up here has a BBQ just like this pearler.I have a friend down in Vic who goes by the nickname of "Yabbie".Maaate I'm scared for him...I think he likes men and lattes! If I buy him this BBQ do you think it will save him and turn him back onto woman with big firm boobs? I'm fairly sure if he stood around this BBQ and sunk a few tinnies and told some stories about old girlfriends he might come good. He also tries to hunt Samber,but always shoots the Hinds up the rear.I think this started him down the path to wickedness. I just hope it's not too late.I'm certain the Real Man's BBQ will lead him back onto the right track. 18-Dec-09
A: Hows it going squidsy ? This bbq will definately retrosexualise him but if he digs the fellas there is not much that this machine will do for him. You see, retrosexualism is good for any male, be they hetero or have a heterosexual deficit. He might start driving his billy cart on this side of the road again but he might not. Either way this bbq would be an investment in his future and will ensure that when you go to his place to watch the cricket he wont smell of moisturiser.
Q: my question is this. why are u selling it ?? dont tell me u have been forced by a female of the species to upgrade to one of those metrosexual , wok burner, shiney hooded beasts that u eluded too prior?? say it isnt so!! 18-Dec-09
A: It isnt. Im using my Holden engine manifold for all my grease based cook ups.
Q: Sir, If I were to win this item, could you deliver it to Capital Hill, Canberra on my behalf? I feel the need to donate this magnificent latte smashing specimen to Parliament. I may also include several spoonfuls of cement with my donation. 18-Dec-09
A: Greeting my politically minded pal. As tempted as I am to say yes to your request, Im afraid I cant up and go just yet. You see, I have responsibilities here, things that just cant wait, for instance I have to drink another 4 beers before I retire for the night and tomorrow Ive been planing on heading up the beach for a perve. I would be happy to assist your choice of courier (by assist I mean give them the pickup address). Kind regards
Q: An Aussi friend of mine sent me your offering as a PDF file and I started to read some of the questions and found them truly fantastic. Your views on Metrosexualizum and how to save our manhood are inspiring. I do have one concern however, I currently have a bbq made from a 55 gal drum cut in half with 4 mm rebar welded to form the grating but the wife is after me to get a new one. I started to build one in the yard complete with an attached sink and chimney for the smoke. I am half done but have decided to scrap the project and keep my drum instead. Do you think it is too much, I don’t want to be accused of be a barbarian, manhood is one thing but is a 55 gal drum just too primitive? 18-Dec-09
A: Most definately not, your 55 gallon drum is quaint and will thrill the pants off of the ladies. One day you will graduate to the manifold of a holden engine like me. You just havent tasted a snag until you can taste unleaded soot.
Q: A quick one for you, Does the BBQ neeed to leveled with coasters or do you just let all the goodness run to one corner? 18-Dec-09
A: Personally I go for the goodness in one corner but I have heard tell of folks coastering up the corners to level it up to get a better quality and more even spread of grease. There are pros and cons with both options here, I live for a grease puddle so you have the option of deep fried meat as well as pan fried but the choice is yours. Cooked or not cooked, the retrosexual way.
Q: Have an old tarago van or newer pajero. Not utes, but will they be ok for pickup? Problem with dog. Its a toy poodle.... 18-Dec-09
A: No problem mate, take the puppy up to the vet and $25 later you will be on your way to retrosexual self actualization. Tarago or Pajero are ok but not the best choice given the circumstances.
Time for a bit of scrapping maybe, while trying to keep the metrosexualness intact 
