Reconciliation

[Kokatha man]

Non-political Reconciliation/intro post

Hi everyone – a couple of things have prompted me to post on the abovementioned topic; and I thought in doing so (after 60 odd posts) that a more complete introduction of myself was also relevant to the members of this fantastic forum (IIS) I have been fortunate to (only recently) join.

With the imminent opening of the newest session of parliament, the delivery of (for many) the long-awaited Apology to Indigenous Australians by our PM has become a current talking point. It is, and let me personally re-state this, not an apology that carries any sense of personal responsibility by Australian citizens for any of what has best been described as “the wrongs and injustices of the past.”

But before I venture any further, let me do the right thing and properly introduce myself. I am a (rapidly not getting any younger!?) man, residing in Adelaide, who has had the good fortune to have had an Irish-German father, and an Aboriginal-English mother, whose own (maternal) grandmother was a tribal girl from South Australia’s west coast: a member of the Kokatha group (pronounced cooker-ta) – part of the Western Desert nation of Australian Aborigines. Thus my forum sobriquet – Kokatha man.

I grew up in the 50s and early 60s where, unfortunately, discrimination was an ugly reality: but in trying to “finger” any particular catalyst for my interest in astronomy, I can only rationalize the following circumstances. Being an enterprising young fella, I earnt considerable “pocket-money” by collecting bottles at the local footy matches for their refund deposit and catching yabbies in the local waterways (not much life in them now I’m afraid) - selling them to the fishing tackle store – 9 pence a dozen for the correct sized ones, used for catching yellow-belly and ponde (callop and Murray cod) - and on a Friday night/Saturday morning me and my mate Ralph would haul up, with pieces of meat on strings, up to 60 or so dozen of em – to the point where sometimes we were told “to give it a rest for a couple of weeks lads” by the store owners (who froze them.)

Ralph, a lifelong friend, who lived across the road, was not Aboriginal: and he really was the first person to teach me that being racist had nothing to do with your cultural background – but far more to do with your intellectual capacity (measured by both logical/rational, and emotional maturity, quotients.)

His parents bought him, when we were about 7 years old, a “Newtonian reflector” and in memories’ hindsight it just about looked like the one old Isaac first invented! A tripod with legs about a foot long, a ball and bracket/claw above this and a tiny 2”-2.5 inch (50-60mm) scope with a “push-pull” ep (Huygens, most probably made by Christiaan himself!) That little “scope,” and a battered pair of Zeiss 7x50s with a cracked prism on one side, were the keyholes to an infinity of aspirations. (if you’re reading this Omnivorr, they’re the real “busted K-Mart noccies”)

Well, that was it, cut down on the lollies, comics and Saturday arvo flicks Darryl, and soak up anything/everything I could on astronomy. At nine years old joining the ASSA and grinding/polishing my very own 6 inch mirror: god knows what they thought of this skinny (unfortunately not-so-now) very young and small Aboriginal kid rolling up in the city unaccompanied in the dark to listen to the night’s speakers; or out at the old horse-stable rooms at the Marryatville Technical High to attend scope-making sessions, with Ronchi and Foucault jerry-rigged devices. My head spun with aspirations; I could lay out there in the night-time and reel off the names of dozens of stars: what fantastic and awe-inspiring words of power and knowledge they were: Rigel, Saiph, Fomalhaut, Betelguese, Achernar, Hamal, Alpheratz, The Great Nebula in Orion and the Jewel-Box cluster etc etc: I was going to be an astronomer, I would be involved in and discover all manner of wonders! But I was really only an Aboriginal kid in a society that (in general) only reserved the opportunity to expand your horizons according to certain dictates, and by the time I was 15 or so, though the wonder and interest stilled glowed in me, the realities and issues of an Aboriginal teenager struggling to grow and survive had dulled my optimism and aspirations: cynicism, bitterness and reactivity spiralled off into years of aimlessness and wasted time…….

But I did come back, thanks to principally (initially) the support within Adelaide’s Aboriginal “community” and then, as my confidence grew and a career that still draws on that skinny little kid’s sense of wonder expanded my horizons and sense of self-worth and validity; I started to think again as I cut back on workloads about those nights long ago……………

I can be too flippant as well as too pedantic and serious, argumentative and (still) reactive: but as one protagonist in some inconsequential forum argy-bargy noted as his final post on the matter; it really is about “being civil” (thanks JB.)

And that point best sums up the point I’d like to make about the upcoming parliamentary event: Reconciliation and “saying sorry” are ultimately about “being civil” and civilized about something that anyone with an ounce of nous recognizes as a “sorry” aspect of Australia’s past: that expressing sorrow for past policies and attitudes is neither owning/accepting guilt personally about these realities of history or compromising any of our individual characters with guilt or recrimination: it is an expression of understanding, or awareness, of past injustice: a response any mature and confident person can endorse – as John said: “in the interest of being civil.”

Thanks if you’ve read through this tome: I’d just like to say once again that I’m privileged to have “discovered” this forum. Regards, Darryl.

[netwolf]

Originally Posted by Kokatha man

far more to do with your intellectual capacity (measured by both logical/rational, and emotional maturity, quotients.)

The best description i have ever seen. Goodnes begins with kindness and that comes only from a civilized maturity.

[xelasnave]

Thanks for such a considered posting.
It surprises me the difficulty some have coming to grips with the fact that our society could do anything wrong at all...
I saw Mr Abbott making a comment about it and all he could do was drift to all the reasons why "they" may have been right with little or no understanding that no matter how one tries to justfy the notions that what happened was in someone best interest that there were abuses and mistakes and we really should say that we are sorry about that... and as you have observed you can be sorry without being the person who caused any harm..
I am very sorry that for whatever reason that to say "sorry" just gets caught in some folks craw... it says little about their ability for compassion.
alex

It will be a very good thing for the appology to be made.

[GrahamL]

Nice to meet you Darryl.
I vividly remember to taking the bottles to the counter of the local fish and chip shop
for the refund deposit ..lolllies and hot chips were an ample reward for all the hard work we did gathering up that glass...and when the owner took them out back and stacked them in a crate we would go back later in the week and gather them up again......I realise now this was "probably" a little wrong but trying to find a positive in this at least it installed within all of us the notion that to recycle is good .

[astroron (Ron)]

Loved your post Darryl, to some Sorry is rearly the hardest word.
I am looking forward to the day when it is finaly said.
Ron

[Dujon]

Hello, Darryl, I don't think we've conversed before.

I sometimes wonder whether those of us who have some Australian aboriginal lineage really give a tinker's cuss about someone saying 'sorry'. If that truly is the case, then why? I doubt that any non-aboriginal would not ascribe to that view in our current age.

Don't, please, get me wrong. If Mr Rudd wishes to offer an apology I will not be complaining. Let the legal eagles sort out the mess afterwards. I'd like to see some sort of centralised study and remedial action taken on such things as:

Education (including getting children to school) which involves parents in the final "equation"

Responsibility (which includes getting up off your arse and doing something rather than waiting for the dole day or the local petrol tanker). Responsibility also means ridding oneself of the nepotism and general corruption (or at least the misdirection of funds provided by all Australians) which, at least from my reading, has been endemic - no doubt assisted by bureaucrats who couldn't care less.

Pride (as opposed to being a 'victim'). I am English by stock, does that make me evil? I'm proud of my background as much as I am of my being an Australian resident for the past fifty-odd years even though in both cases I acknowledge that my forebears were not perfect. Incidentally I'm still waiting an apology from all the nations/clans/tribes who invaded my motherland.

OK, Darryl, I jest, but with serious undertones. As a white fella I too used to earn a few quid as a youngster. In my case it was pumping petrol on the weekends (10/- per day) or caddying at the local golf course (12/- as I had a 'regular') and finding and collecting lost golf balls and selling them to the pro shop (that was more remunerative than caddying, to be honest). Prior to that it was window cleaning - 6d per window, inside and out, bring your own gear) whilst at the same time breeding white mice (please don't ask me to where they went; I didn't) and selling them at 2/- each.

I think, Darryl, that you and I grew up at the same time. Our experiences are really not all that different.

[xelasnave]

John you said ........I'm still waiting an apology from all the nations/clans/tribes who invaded my motherland....

So dont you feel ticked off that no one appologised...

that is the point really without getting too deep an appology as seems proposed would be nice and we are in the happy situation now where we can make it.

I think it is the decent thing to do.
alex

[fringe_dweller]

yep well said Darryl, I too am pleased that finally the formal apology is about to happen! it is exciting to think that we can all move on as a nation very soon.
I sometimes get a little annoyed when aussies who's ancestry wasnt involved in the early settlement of this country, say it was completely utterly nothing to do with them, which is technicallly true. But if you move to this country, you are by a maybe very tenuous proxy, or association, very indirectly partaking in the 'spoils' of the colonisation of oz. not that that means they should feel guilty, but they shouldnt feel so righteously removed from these things, and so morally superior somehow.
It is hypocritical to me to point fingers at the early white australians, and then buy/own land and profit from that was once aboriginal lands!! and pretend you have no 'blood on your hands'! even if it is just the faintest of traces.
Also annoys me that, sometimes i get the impression? that some new australians think that the indigenous peoples were all directly wiped out by direct bloody murder! when i fact that overwhelming vast enormous majority of deaths as the result of british colonisation, was from introduced diseases, to which the indigenous people had no immunity of course, just like the rest of the so called 'new world' the americas for instance. (where i read in some cases they intentionally distrubuted blankets infested with a vector bugs being lice? which were carrying the usual deadly diseases, smallpox ect.?)
i have read that the combined aboriginal pop. at time of discovery/invasion, depending on your point of view, may of been as much as 1 million, australia wide, and this diminished to a few hundred thousand? after diseases made their way through the nations. But i find it interesting that natural restraints kept it to 1 mill. or less, the theoretical pop. limit of oz?

Those same kind of people that indiscrimitarily murdered aboriginals, still make the headlines shooting seals, dolphins, whales, kicking quokkas to death, and the like today. they are still out there. all over the world. IMO

I know a young fella, a computer programmer/ code jockey who has direct lineage to the whalers of KI, the original white settlers of SA, who ALL had aboriginal wives i believe, (european women werent large in number in those days?) as did his direct ancestor. And he is as white as the driven snow, positively nordic looking master race type, but they dont make a fuss about it, and it is just a conversation piece, like a few others with very distant diluted aboriginal heritage i have known.
anyway, looking forward to the end of feb
cheers

[fringe_dweller]

does anyone else find it delicously ironic that the 'white european man' is struggling with the intense 'work ethic' of some of Asia? nearly as big a culture shock as the original australians would of found with the european style 'work ethic' i hazard a guess?

[ballaratdragons (Ken)]

Hi Darryl,
I personally do not like the seperate title of 'Aboriginal' when people talk about 'Aboriginals'. It gets used as an un-noticed form of segregation.

Picture the scenario: A man goes into a hardware store and asks a salesman where the spanners are. The salesman says "over in aisle 3 near where that aboriginal man is standing". Why must he say 'Aboriginal Man'. Why can't he just say "near where that man is standing". Yes, pedantic maybe. But it urks me.

I was fortunate enough to be brought up without prejudice towards any race.
I had a friend in Primary School (Aboriginal) and I truly did not notice any difference for years until someone called her a dirty blacky!!! I didn't understand why they were picking on her. That's how colour-blind I was.

In my 20's my 3 best mates were 'Aboriginal', and yet I never referred to them as such. They were my mates, that was all. Not my black mates.

And now, the good news (to me anyway). My childrens birth mother (left us over 10 years ago), and her brother both have a slight 'Aboriginal' appearance to them. Him more than her.
Their mother (long dead) had been partnered with many men over her life and some where aboriginal.
My 2 boys display certain 'Aboriginal' characteristics in their looks and skin tone. So much so that it was only about 2-3 weeks ago one of my sons asked if they are Aboriginal! (my daughter doesn't carry this similarity).

Why is it good news to me? Because I am proud to have children that may be (even only in part) indigenous Australians!!!! I think that is exciting.

I will never know for sure if they are part indigenous as their grandmother is long gone and no-one knows her past.
It doesn't bother me either way, but it would be nice to know that my children have a direct 'blood' connection with this land!

[davidpretorius]

i reckon it is great where this is heading, ie the apology and hope like hell, that over the next generation, education and pride and other areas already mentioned helps to bring us together.

i agree with ken, cant i just call them mate???

[avandonk]

To me it is self evident that we are all partaking of the spoils of invasion by simply being here. No amount of weasel words will exonerate any one of us from this simple fact.

Is it not illegal under our system to buy or possess stolen goods?

I find a real sense of irony in people who were convicted and transported for something as minor as stealing a loaf of bread, then they collectively set about stealing a whole continent!

Saying sorry is only the first step to correct all the wrongs of the past. No amount of rationalising such as "they really meant it all for the best" will excuse a policy of defragmentation of families and hence whole societies by the very policy guidelines. I thought I would add if it was not 'policy' it certainly was practice! Sir Humphrey of Yes Minister.

The "Australian History" taught to me in the fifties was the biggest whitewash I have ever experienced. The pun was fully intended!

Can you imagine if the the real owners of this land had taken the children of the early settlers to free them from the brutality and near famine that the first colony was was subjected to by distance and circumstance. We would never hear the end of the negative statements made!

Meanwhile earlier on my ancestors (mob) were doing a very good job of 'civilising' the Dutch East Indies way before Captain Cook 'discovered' Australia.

Nothing has changed. There are still injustices being perpetrated worldwide. That does not make it correct.

We all of us have got to start somewhere! Acknowledgement of past wrongs is a good place to start.

What we fail to realise at our peril that the indigenous people of Australia were eating better tens of thousands of years before than the King of England in Medieval times.

Bert

[ballaratdragons (Ken)]

Originally Posted by davidpretorius

i agree with ken, cant i just call them mate???

There is no reason why not.

But getting people to be colour-blind is an entirely different matter. I can't imagine a blind person being racist. Apart from any accent, how would they know. Maybe we could learn a lot from the blind in this matter.

There is also the over-the-top anti-racist who maybe doesn't even know he is racist.
On meeting a black person (or even a Muslim, or Asian) tries to prove he isn't racist by going out of their way to be extra nice or extra friendly.

This is still a form of segregation because they 'single out' the race, maybe to prove to themself and others that they aren't racist. Wierd huh!

[abellhunter]

Thank you for the moving post.... this made the papers here in Hawaii yesterday. i have always seen your people as this worlds Elders and have the utmost respect for them. As we reevaluate what we are doing to this planet i've often thought that there are people with sustainable traditions that can help us to get back on track. The short list would be the American Indians (my Great Grandma was full Black Foot), Africans, Amazonians, &
the Aboriginals of OZ. These people have been the good care-takers of our
Mother Earth and have earned the title of our "Elders"... IMHO.

Thank you again for your post and to the moderators of this forum who support our free speech.

oh yea, when you wrote:
*********************************** *************
I could lay out there in the night-time and reel off the names of dozens of stars: what fantastic and awe-inspiring words of power and knowledge they were: Rigel, Saiph, Fomalhaut, Betelguese, Achernar, Hamal, Alpheratz, The Great Nebula in Orion and the Jewel-Box cluster etc etc: I was going to be an astronomer, I would be involved in and discover all manner of wonders!
*********************************** **************

i think all of us here can relate to having this same Cosmic Connection!

May you & yours always be in fine health and great calm,
with gratitude and warm aloha,

Lance aka "abellhunter"

http://www.anzaobservatory.com

p.s Anza is a town in California not to be confused with Anzac! LOL!

[davidpretorius]

It is funny, I was trying to explain to my 7 yr old daughter why we are saying sorry next week.

She had heard inklings of what had happened with the stolen generation ie they took their children away and was trying to compute the whole situation.

Trying to relate how the aboriginals were doing fine before the english arrived and how they now have a long long way to go to get out of poverty was very hard when explaining to a 7yr old who sees in black and white (situations not ethnicity).

It was lovely to hear her just wanting people to say sorry and then be nice to each other as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do......and by the tone of this thread, that is the way it should be

[M110 (Andrew)]

I have had enough of the politically correct BS. This is how I feel. If the moderators erase this, they are part of the problem. I have as much right to my say too.

Am I a Racist???


Someone finally said it.


How many are actually paying attention to this?


There are Aboriginals,


Torres StraitIslanders,


Kiwis


Lebanese


Asians,


Arabs,


Boat People from all over the place., etc.


And then there are just Australians.


You pass me on the street and sneer in my Direction.


You Call Me


' Australian Dog',


'White boy',


'Cracker',


'Skippy',


'Whitey'


'Caveman'


And that's OK.


But when I call you, Black Fella,


Kiwi,


Towel head,


Sand-nigger,


Sheep Shagger


Camel Jockey,


Gook, or Chink,


You call Me a Racist.


You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,


so why are the Housing Commission estates the most dangerous places to Live?


You have the Aboriginal Schools.


You have Sorry Day.


You have Yom Hashoah


You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.


If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists.


If we had a White Pride Day. You would call us racists.


If we had White Culture Month, we'd be racists.


If we had any organization for only whites to'advance' OUR lives . We'd be racists.


If we had a University fund that only gave white Students


scholarships..... You know we'd be racists.


'White colleges' .THAT would be a racist college.


You can march for your race and rights.


If we marched for our race and rights, You would call us racists.


You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange,


and you're not afraid to announce it.


But when we announce our white pride you call us racists.


You rob us, bash our kids,steal from us, and shoot at us.


But, when a white police officer shoots a Muslim gang member or beats up a


Lebanese drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society,


You call him a racist.


I am proud. But, you call me a racist.


Why is it that only whites can be racists?

[jjjnettie (Jeanette)]

Bravo, Great post Kokatha Man.

[madtuna (Steve)]

My ex-wife was my childhood sweetheart I met in highschool. At the time she lived in the childrens home that backed onto the primary school I attended a few years earlier, but previous to that she was shipped from foster family to foster family, often as a form of cheap labour on remote area farms.

She was an Aboriginal and a ward of the state of N.S.W. and had no idea of her background, family or why she was a ward.

At age 16 she wanted to move in with me, to do this we needed permission from the Department of Community Services and have her removed from thier custody.
That was easy enough and pretty much done with the stroke of a pen and a rubber stamp.

Shortly after curiosity got the better of her and she wanted to find out who she was and where she came from.
What a nightmare of a drawn out process this turned out to be!

After 2 years of partitioning various local members and with the help of the Aboriginal legal services we were ushered into a small bare room with nothing but a desk and a guard.
We were searched going into the room and again searched going out, nothing was to be taken, copied or photographed.

Her entire life was placed on the desk infront of her in a file and we were given 45 minutes to look through it.
She had 4 brothers and a sister. her father died when she was very young and her mother lived not 10 kms from us!
She and her siblings were all removed from her mother at two to three days old whilst still in the hospital and the reason was..

"it is in the best interest of the child to be placed in alternative accommodation as there is a great likelyhood the child will not be rotated in its cot often enough and could develop a flat spot on its head resulting in mental retardation"

How they came to this conclusion when not one of the children went home from the hospital after birth is beyond me.

She since made contact with one brother, though her other siblings were lost through the maze of adoption.
She had a couple of years getting to know her mother who died a totally broken shell of a woman having all her children removed from her and never knowing why unil then.

When our daughters started school, I paid school fees every year. Every year they sent them back saying as my girls were of Aboriginal decent we were exempt. I'd send them back again explaining that if every other kid was subject to fees, so were mine, my kids were no different.

One year I got called into the school saying the school had been given a grant of X amount of $ per Aboriginal child (3 students in that school) and how would we like it spent? excursions paid for? uniforms? canteen allowance?

I suggested a selection of Aboriginal books for the library that every student could benifit from or an Aboriginal flag, but these ideas were not well recieved.

I could not seem to get through to them that by treating our children differently than the other kids, the school was in a way fostering racism.
If every other parent paid fees, so do I, if every other parent pays for a uniform or an excursion, so do I.
I didn't want other kids or parents saying "those Fisher girls get everything free 'cause they're abo's". My kids are not Abo's, they are kids just like every other kid.

My wife was born in 1967, long after the "stolen generation" supposedly came to and end, her sister she has never met was born in 1969.

I have said sorry a million times, and I'll say it a million more.

[rumples riot]

Darryl, excellent commentary.

As a person who has aboriginal heritage in his veins (great gandmother) I see the real problem of our society as this. It is easy being rascist it is harder not to be. Meaning that real tolerance comes from understanding and compassion rather than blind black and white thinking (yes a pun but not intended). The grey is where all the answers lie in our existence, it is just that some not all cannot understand this simple truth or are afraid to make the step out into undefined territory.

Now as to our "friend" here. While you points are clearly made, they lie under a mistaken belief that white society has done no wrong in the past. Four hundred odd years plus of oppression by white culture across the globe with all its arrogance has got to have some kind of backlash. It is the sins of the fathers that we must now pay. When I was a kid it was the Italian and Greeks that would get beaten up side by side with the aborginal lads, just because it was seen as sporting (sic). Now when the other hand is turned it does not feel so nice does it?

Whites have been dominant so long they have forgotten what it is like to feel the sting. Now is the time to reach out with an open hand and resist the fear of having it bitten off even though it would be deserving. And; so what if this happens. Would we be so gracious? I know plenty of people who are white and call other peoples much worse things than a whitey. Have you ever noticed how the really off racist names come from white culture and not any other. This is because white culture can be so revolting when it wants to be. What is wrong with the less privileged being given a helping hand up? Have you lost your humanity that much that you cannot see that it is our moral responsibility to now attone for our sins?

Time for sorry and to hell with the consequences.

[PCH (Paul)]

I believe you can be proud of your heritage even if you choose to live elsewhere for whatever reason. And so, as a proud Englishman turned dinky di Aussie, I accept that the English - along with many other European powers of the day - have done things which we would not be proud of nowadays, but which were 'the way it was' back then.

It's clearly no secret that, while England has done it's share of colonial exploitation, it too has suffered greatly at the hands of a series of invaders and pillagers over the centuries - Romans, Angles, Saxons, Vikings, French (Normans anyway !).

The thing is, I'd suggest that there would not be one single English person who would harbour a malicious thought against any of these races now. It just happened, and the passage of time has wiped out any thought of invasion or subjection or reprisal (with the possible exception of some good hearted banter between the French and English !).

So when does the white 'invasion' of Australia become an acceptable thing that just happened and which caused our culture to move onwards in a different direction to that in which it had been moving? At what point in time do we allow ourselves to just move on and be happy with what we now have.

All the things we now enjoy and take for granted in the developed world are a result of adventurers and discoverers of earliers times doing things that weren't always popular. It's the way it's always been and probably always will be. The ones with the money (and power !) set the rules.

This (post) could go on forever, but suffice to say I think we should be capable of just moving forward on common ground without a 'we' and 'them' attitude.

Finally, madtuna, I'm deeply touched by your story. There must be hundreds more like it unfortunately. And M110, I'm with you 100%

Cheers,