The Difference between Cats and Dogs

jjjnettie (Jeanette) · #1 18-01-2008, 09:55 AM

DOG DIARY
8 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
Noon - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
5 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

*******s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe ... . ...

For now...

duncan · #2 18-01-2008, 10:02 AM

LMHO

Brilliant Nettie

Hows the G-Star going?

jjjnettie (Jeanette) · #3 18-01-2008, 10:10 AM

LOL, It's so true isn't it.
A friend emailed it to me this morning.

I haven't used the G-Star since before Christmas. Stupid cloud and rain.

duncan · #4 18-01-2008, 10:12 AM

Yep so true.
I can sympathise with you about the weather. Don't know what i've done to deserve it though,LOL.

Night Owl · #5 18-01-2008, 10:23 AM

I've never shot a feral dog. I've shot hundreds of feral cats.

h0ughy (David) · #6 18-01-2008, 10:31 AM

LOL this cloud is producing some interesting reading JJJ

Dujon · #7 18-01-2008, 10:54 AM

'Nettie, no one owns a cat; nor do they act as guardians other than in the sense of feeding the gorgeous critters and providing medical benefits - all at the expense of the local tax payer. *sighs*

DOG: 'That was a good roll, boss'
BOSS: 'Not another bath!
DOG: 'Don't blame me, Boss, you did say sit'

CAT: 'I've had a decent wash, Boss, might I sit on your knee?'
BOSS: 'Of course you can, you feline sorceress'
CAT: 'Just before I do' drags backside over carpet using front leg propulsion 'There, that's better'.
BOSS: Censored

mdgodf (Mark) · #8 18-01-2008, 11:00 AM

hmmm...seems my cats are actually dogs!

Terry B · #9 18-01-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Night Owl

I've never shot a feral dog. I've shot hundreds of feral cats.

I've never shot either but I have never heard of a feral cat killing sheep but the dogs certainly do. Different problems I suppose.

Outbackmanyep · #10 18-01-2008, 02:42 PM

CATS....The Other white meat.....

PS...Feral cats decimate wild bird populations, thats why they're hunted!

astroturf (Bryan) · #11 18-01-2008, 02:51 PM

Dogs have owners, Cats have Staff !

Bryan

Night Owl · #12 18-01-2008, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terry B

I've never shot either but I have never heard of a feral cat killing sheep but the dogs certainly do. Different problems I suppose.

There are very few feral dogs in these parts (Western Victoria). And I have never seen a dingo. The bad dogs usually turn out to be town pets that get out and turn nasty in a pack.

On another tack, sheep aren't a protected native species, and aren't in danger of being rendered extinct by wild dogs, or cats.

Another thing I have noticed. Dogs won't climb trees and kill native birds, possums, sugar gliders, or anything else they can reach. Cats do.

And I wouldn't discount feral cats not killing sheep. I have shot a feral cat that was 85cm long from head to tail, and weighed 25kilos. That is bigger and meatier than the majority of foxes, which do kill sheep, that I have shot. It wasn't some cute little tabby. It was a killing machine that was intent on attacking me head on when I submitted it to the loud end of a 12 guage. The difference is a cat is a more alert and cunning hunter than dumb old brer Fox.

Ric · #13 18-01-2008, 03:21 PM

Loved the analogy JJJ, a classic. all true for sure.

Cheers

xelasnave · #14 18-01-2008, 04:24 PM

Rain grows the imagination better than the grass... a very nice read indeed and most entertaining Jeanette.

I think I will do some re runs on the Garfield movies

alex

Omaroo (Chris Malikoff) · #15 18-01-2008, 08:32 PM

Too good Jeanette

jjjnettie (Jeanette) · #16 18-01-2008, 09:22 PM

Feral dogs are a real problem around here.
I know of one lady who was checking her fences, saw one dog, then two, then the pack. She is very lucky that her car was nearby.
The last few months the council has been making a real effort to get rid of feral dogs.

All pet owners should be responsible for their critters.
For a start they should all be desexed unless you are a registered breeder.

kljucd1 (Daniel) · #17 18-01-2008, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Outbackmanyep

CATS....The Other white meat.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by astroturf

Dogs have owners, Cats have Staff !

Bryan

...and it's true too.

I like cats, they are much better then those flea bitten, stinky, incessantly barking pooches...or maybe that is just my mum's dog

Daniel...

Matty P (Matt) · #18 18-01-2008, 09:58 PM

Had a good laugh...

and still am...

Bobj · #19 19-01-2008, 07:49 AM

No matter what mood you come home from work, your dog is happy to see you. A cat could not care less....

Many years ago, when Steve Irwin was starting out with the TV documentaries, he went to a waterhole in the Qld outback. Hardly any wildlife in the district, but I seem to remember he caught 36 feral cats....

Ric · #20 19-01-2008, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobj

No matter what mood you come home from work, your dog is happy to see you. A cat could not care less........

Not completely true Bobj, when we get home from work Puss is always waiting at the door to greet us which involves being picked up and given a pat and a cuddle. This also involve lots of purring.

This is not occasionally, this is everyday. It has a lot to do with bonding with your pet's I suppose.