Hi Everard.
M104 is very spectacular, it will be hard to bear.
Centaurus A is always stunning, as with M83.
NGC4945 and NGC1566 are also well worth a look, still looking great in a 10" dob but absolutely mind blowing in a large scope.
For question 2, it really comes down to:
1) Dark skies
2) Dark adaptation
3) Quality eyepieces
4) Good collimation
5) Averted vision can help squeeze out more detail.
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