ICEINSPACE
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Moon Phase
CURRENT MOON
Waxing Gibbous 98.8%
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02-03-2016, 12:14 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lithgow, NSW
Posts: 1,682
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God's plan for aging
Forgive me if this has been posted before or some IISpacers have seen it but this made me laugh as I am now considered a senior at 65.
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.
And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Don't ignore this message. This is your only warning.
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02-03-2016, 12:41 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 331
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We really need a "Like" button!
OMG,  did I just write that? 
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02-03-2016, 12:54 PM
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Support your local RFS
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wamboin NSW
Posts: 12,405
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02-03-2016, 02:54 PM
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Politically incorrect.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Tasmania (South end)
Posts: 2,315
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#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Jesus christ... You better hope my wife NEVER sees this.. 
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02-03-2016, 03:31 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wollongong
Posts: 3,814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el_draco
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Jesus christ... You better hope my wife NEVER sees this..
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You mean you had better hope your wife never sees it. Ruin the diet.
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02-03-2016, 03:52 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: margaret river, western australia
Posts: 6,070
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As people are living longer these days, Unipol should be categorised as
a Junior Senior; 80-90 a Senior, and over 90 a Senior Senior. 
Senior Raymo.
Last edited by raymo; 02-03-2016 at 04:01 PM.
Reason: punctuation
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02-03-2016, 03:55 PM
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A Friendly Nyctophiliac
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Toongabbie, NSW
Posts: 1,597
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That was great.
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02-03-2016, 06:23 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lithgow, NSW
Posts: 1,682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el_draco
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Jesus christ... You better hope my wife NEVER sees this..
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I'm doomed then, it was my wife who passed this on to me 
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02-03-2016, 06:50 PM
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Senior Citizen
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bribie Island
Posts: 5,067
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02-03-2016, 07:34 PM
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blexxx1769
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Bruny Island.Tasmania
Posts: 20
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Not so sure about all this godbothering stuff, but then I'm an atheist ( thank christ ) 
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02-03-2016, 08:06 PM
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Ultimate Noob
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 7,013
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At the ripe old age of 27 it made me chuckle 
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02-03-2016, 09:36 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,847
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atmos
At the ripe old age of 27 it made me chuckle |
Well you are still a Junior Junior.
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02-03-2016, 09:44 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lithgow, NSW
Posts: 1,682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raymo
As people are living longer these days, Unipol should be categorised as
a Junior Senior; 80-90 a Senior, and over 90 a Senior Senior.
Senior Raymo. |
I like your reasoning Raymo, I am chuffed that I can be classed as a "Junior Senior". My dear old dad who passed away recently at the age of 89 always greeted me with " how are you me boy" which always gave me a lift.
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02-03-2016, 09:49 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: margaret river, western australia
Posts: 6,070
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Your Dad was lucky that he wasn't aware of these categories; he'd have said "damn", or words to that effect, " I missed being a Senior Senior by
a year".
Senior Raymo {that sounds better than Mr.]
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03-03-2016, 02:07 PM
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Politically incorrect.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Tasmania (South end)
Posts: 2,315
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AstralTraveller
You mean you had better hope your wife never sees it. Ruin the diet.
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No, if my wife starts cooking as well as... as, well, as... um, um..... never mind...
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03-03-2016, 07:20 PM
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Gravity does not Suck
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tabulam
Posts: 17,003
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i am too old to think anything is funny
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