Your daily laugh

[bartman (Bart)]

Originally Posted by bloodhound31

A man was found dead this morning, apparently having drowned in his sultana bran....

Sources say he was possibly pulled under by a strong currant.

HEHEHE

[danielsun]

Some amazing facts there Warren!

Did you watch the news about the charcoal factory catching fire and burning causing up to 1 million dollars worth of stock!!

[supernova1965 (Warren)]

Originally Posted by danielsun

Some amazing facts there Warren!

Did you watch the news about the charcoal factory catching fire and burning causing up to 1 million dollars worth of stock!!

No I missed that one

[Analog6 (Odille)]

Originally Posted by TrevorW

[B]Morris replied,
'Well, to tell you the truth,
I almost said something when Esther fell out,
But you know,
fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

And he was probably glad to be shot of the miserly you know who!

Oink to the 'facts' list

SOme of you may have already seen this, but it always gives me a good LOL. One for the photographers....

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,' said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

[TrevorW]

Oldy but a goodie !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRO626ImQek

[Jen]

heheehe

[danielsun]

Originally Posted by TrevorW

Oldy but a goodie !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRO626ImQek

I think that training is for real!!

[supernova1965 (Warren)]

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine

Early each morning.


As always, Snow White stayed home doing her

Domestic chores.



As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their

Lunch and carry it to the mine.



One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw

That there had been a terrible
Cave-in.


Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White
Began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had
Somehow survived.


'Hello...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me?

Hello!'



For a long while, there was no answer. Losing
Hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is
Anyone down there?'




Just as she was about to give up all hope, she

Heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,

Singing;

"NSW will win the State of Origin"

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, 'Oh,

Thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive.

[supernova1965 (Warren)]

i was having trouble with my computer. So I called Jack, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.



Jack clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down:
ID10T I used to like Jack, the little *******.

[TrevorW]

Must remember that one

[AdrianF (Adrian)]

Liked it.
Will have to remember that one next time my work partner asks me to fix his pc at work.
I am emplyed as an engineering teacher but do almost as much work in IT
Adrian

[Jen]

[mithrandir (Andrew)]

I like PEBCAK

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

[supernova1965 (Warren)]

Originally Posted by Jen

Hi Jen you look like superwomen there all you need is a cape looking good keep it up

[Jen]

Originally Posted by supernova1965

Hi Jen you look like superwomen there all you need is a cape looking good keep it up

Thanks Warren, yeah superwoman lost her cape chasing after batman hehe

[Liz]

..... Great jokes Warren !!


Oh, did you catch Batman Jen, I would like to get his number.

[Jen]

Originally Posted by Liz

..... Great jokes Warren !!


Oh, did you catch Batman Jen, I would like to get his number.

nah sorry Liz he only has eyes for Catwoman

[TrevorW]

A blind man walks into a bank

Why didn't someone warn him

Two Irishmen talking about dogs

one says to the other "would you like a Labrador, Paddy"

the other replies

"no thanks Mick, they make you go blind"

[TrevorW]

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied a ship sinking.
"Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to
the ship. "First we swim around the ship a few times with just the tip of our
fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around the ship a
few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat
everybody when they are in the water." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad,
why didn't we just eat them? Why did we have too swim around and
around beforehand?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without
the crap inside!"

[RickS (Rick)]

Siamese Twins In A Bar

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England !" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England ?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."