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  #1  
Old 14-02-2012, 02:49 PM
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A Brave Man wrote this ... !!!!

A young boy ask his Mother .... Mum, why are wedding dresses always ' White '

The Mother looks at her boy and say's:.. Well Son ...It's to show friends and relatives that the Bride is ' pure '....!!

So the little boy thanks his Mum and toddles off to double check with his Father.

On finding his Father he asks him ...Hey Dad .... Why are Wedding dresses always 'White'

Dad looks at his boy and say's ... that's easy son... All kitchen ' appliances ' come in ' White'

A very ' brave' Man would say this .....

One more:

A young boy came home and told his Mother ... I had to give up my seat today on the bus for a Lady.

Mum replied ...Well you did a good thing today to give up your seat son.

Boy replies ... but I was sitting on Daddy's lap.

Flash




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  #2  
Old 14-02-2012, 03:31 PM
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  #3  
Old 14-02-2012, 08:49 PM
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Self Inflicted.

One for the Ladies.

Wife asks her Husband "How many women have you slept with"?
He replies "Only you Darling, with all of the others I was awake".

He will be out of Hospital in about a week, but his nose will have a permanent bump.
Greg.
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  #4  
Old 14-02-2012, 08:50 PM
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Getting On.

Another....

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

AND THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Greg.
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  #5  
Old 14-02-2012, 09:02 PM
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Wife say's to her Husband ... What are you doing ...?

Husband .... Nothing ...!!!

Wife say's ...Nothing ....? You've been looking at our marriage certificate for an hour.

Husband ... I'm looking for the ' expiry date '

Flash


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  #6  
Old 14-02-2012, 09:06 PM
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Wow You guys are game!
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  #7  
Old 14-02-2012, 09:13 PM
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Since you started this!


One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

"Yeah, except today is the last day."
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Old 14-02-2012, 09:17 PM
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jenchris (Jennifer)
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Wife asks her Husband "How many women have you slept with"?
He replies "Only you Darling, with all of the others I was awake"
She arches one brow and says "Were they?"
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  #9  
Old 14-02-2012, 09:18 PM
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Ten reasons why a man should have dogs instead of a wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

Hmmm, you can see why I am not married Cynical as!
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Old 14-02-2012, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stardrifter_WA View Post
Ten reasons why a man should have dogs instead of a wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

Hmmm, you can see why I am not married Cynical as!
Awesome ..
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  #11  
Old 14-02-2012, 09:36 PM
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Ha ha , very good ! ,
I brought my wife a TV Pronto ,,,,, The dog was bummed out .
Brian.
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Old 14-02-2012, 10:41 PM
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WAS a brave man
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  #13  
Old 14-02-2012, 10:47 PM
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Queensland Charm School
.

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start-up a conversation during
an endless wait in Townsville's airport.

The first lady was an arrogant Toorak matron married to a wealthy
business man.

The second was a well-mannered woman from Kelso in Townsville .

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the
Yarrawonga woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband
built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from Kelso commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"


The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband
bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.


Again, the lady from Kelso commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"


The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born,
my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.


Yet again, the Kelso lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"


The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for
you when you had your first child?"


"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Kelso lady.


"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my Lord! What on earth
for?"


The Kelso lady responded, "Well as an example... instead of saying, "Who
gives a ****?", I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious . . . . "
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  #14  
Old 14-02-2012, 11:09 PM
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lol Doug
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  #15  
Old 15-02-2012, 02:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stardrifter_WA View Post
Ten reasons why a man should have dogs instead of a wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

Hmmm, you can see why I am not married Cynical as!
And you can put a dog into the boot of your car and drive around for an hour and when you let it out it will still love you....Try doing that with your wife!
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  #16  
Old 15-02-2012, 01:34 PM
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Oh, and another thing, a dog will lay "silently" besides you while you observe; while watching TV or while reading the paper!

Last edited by Stardrifter_WA; 15-02-2012 at 01:47 PM.
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  #17  
Old 15-02-2012, 01:59 PM
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Sailor says to his mate, "have you got anynudie pics of your missus?"
The young and newly married tar replies. "No way!"
Old salt looks at him and smiles , "do you want some?"
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Old 15-02-2012, 02:18 PM
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FlashDrive (Poppy)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenchris View Post
Sailor says to his mate, "have you got anynudie pics of your missus?"
The young and newly married tar replies. "No way!"
Old salt looks at him and smiles , "do you want some?"


Flash.
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  #19  
Old 15-02-2012, 02:48 PM
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blink138 (Pat)
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im going staight to hell for this........
why do woman have small feet?
so that they can stand closer to the sink!
pat
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  #20  
Old 15-02-2012, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blink138 View Post
im going staight to hell for this........
why do woman have small feet?
so that they can stand closer to the sink!
pat

Pat ... you are a ' brave ' man

Flash
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