An open letter on BULLYING here in IIS - Page 5

jjjnettie (Jeanette) · #81 18-02-2016, 11:13 AM

And people wonder why I don't frequent here much any more.
Just walking away from the negativity.

Allan_L (Allan) · #82 18-02-2016, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjjnettie

And people wonder why I don't frequent here much any more.
Just walking away from the negativity.

Yes JJJ, we miss you (well at least I do). When I joined it used to be a fun place to hang out, you and Jen, and the rest of the gang. Fun in general chat. Not so much any more.

xstream (John) · #83 18-02-2016, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjjnettie

And people wonder why I don't frequent here much any more.
Just walking away from the negativity.

Here, here!

04Stefan07 (Stefan) · #84 19-02-2016, 09:31 AM

Looks like I am not alone on here!

Have been bullied here a couple of times from the same person.

Tried to report it but was ignored on all occasions and no action was taken.

Larryp (Laurie) · #85 19-02-2016, 11:14 AM

I used to regularly post praise for members photographs, but was on several occasions, accused of just trying to increase my post count-whatever that is supposed to achieve!
Now I just read what others say and very seldom post anything myself.

04Stefan07 (Stefan) · #86 19-02-2016, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larryp

I used to regularly post praise for members photographs, but was on several occasions, accused of just trying to increase my post count-whatever that is supposed to achieve!
Now I just read what others say and very seldom post anything myself.

I also had a similar experience with "increasing post count". I started a thread ages ago which was aimed to be a fun and contributing game. It was taken down for that very reason, however there is a thread going around about what song you are listening to and unsure why that isn't seen as a "increasing post count" thread

I could post every 3-5 minutes about the songs I have listened to in the past 3 hours but then might get a slap on my wrist for doing that!

astroron (Ron) · #87 19-02-2016, 12:25 PM

I am going to go against the grain here,and say this is a tedious thread.
It gets dragged up every so often

If you feel a thread is not correct report it to the mods,but remember the mods have a life to lead, so complaining about every little seemed hurt may not get the outcome you require.
Stand up for yourself with contact by PM with the supposed hurter,if no joy BLOCK them,which by the way I have done on a few occasions.
No one is going to agree with you all the time , so just get on with playing your part on iceinspace.
The people who upset you will notice that you are not taking their bait and just move on.
This post is not aimed at anyone in particular,just my thoughts on this whole thread.
I hope I haven't upset anyone.

Cheers

mental4astro (Alexander) · #88 19-02-2016, 01:19 PM

Hi Ron,

I have to disagree with you there. To just report stuff, put people on the ignore list, and even just leave IIS does not stop the corrupting influence of bad behaviour. It has led to a lot of members abandoning IIS because of just reading the rubbish some people put up, even if they were not on the receiving end. That is why I've dredged up this thread again.

It may be a tedious thread, as you say, but sometimes a tedious thread revival is needed to put people's manners back in. You may have a thick skin to cope with abuse that is dished out. For me it is tedious to keep reading morons on their ego trip.

Mods do their part. But WE need to do ours as members, and be courteous - especially when we disagree. Apathy to bad behaviour affects everyone here. This is where I'm coming from.

Alex.

MortonH · #89 19-02-2016, 01:53 PM

It's very easy to post something a bit over the top if you happen to be a bit cranky one day. Serial offenders, however, should be censured and/or banned from the site. Problem is, it can very subjective and something that offends one person may not even register with another.

Very sad to hear that some of our regulars have given up. Their contributions are missed.

astroron (Ron) · #90 19-02-2016, 02:45 PM

I have scrolled through this whole thread, and except for about 4 posts,there was very little evidence saying what the actual bullying was.?
I think Alex, that I was one of the bullies you referred to,because I questioned something you wrote which did not seem right to me.?
I did PM you about it but you either did not see my PM or chose to ignore it as I never received any reply, yet you said people should try to sort things by personal message.?
Just because one can write something on a post or thread, does not mean that what you write should not be open to scrutiny or question.
I am not afraid to have anyone question what I write and am quite open to being shown that I am wrong.
Abuse via invective's is another thing altogether.
One persons bullying is another persons robust discussion.
I am sure there are many astronomy sites on the internet that are way more aggressive than iceinspace.
This bringing up of this thread every so often just adds to the unpleasantness,but in the long run adds nothing to the forum in general.
I am no more thick skinned than any other person but can just switch off from the perceived wrong doer or give them back as much as they do to me,then just block them.
Cheers

bigjoe (JOSEPH) · #91 19-02-2016, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mental4astro

Hi Ron,

I have to disagree with you there. To just report stuff, put people on the ignore list, and even just leave IIS does not stop the corrupting influence of bad behaviour. It has led to a lot of members abandoning IIS because of just reading the rubbish some people put up, even if they were not on the receiving end. That is why I've dredged up this thread again.

It may be a tedious thread, as you say, but sometimes a tedious thread revival is needed to put people's manners back in. You may have a thick skin to cope with abuse that is dished out. For me it is tedious to keep reading morons on their ego trip.

Mods do their part. But WE need to do ours as members, and be courteous - especially when we disagree. Apathy to bad behaviour affects everyone here. This is where I'm coming from.

Alex.

Couln't agree more; though Ron does have some valid points.

It was for these reasons I walked away from IIS for about a year and yes

sometimes it can be awash with ego.

Some poor pathetic souls have nothing better to do but wait, then pounce on someones typo etc; SAD.

The negativity of slanging matches in some posts defies all reason.

I'm giving it another go, but I have other hobbies etc, so not too concerned if I have a gut full again and just leave.

Cheers all and lets leave our egos where they belong.

bigjoe.

GrampianStars (Rob) · #92 19-02-2016, 10:07 PM

What a load of offensive PC "B..S.."
someone displaying a passive-aggressive personality disorder
dictating 2 others what they don't like 2 read is "Bullying"

"Help Help i'm being bullied BAN the open forum poster as I don't like the cut of their jib"

Phffft

It's physically impossible unless your computer is under control by someone else i.e. via "teamviewer"

You have the power to NOT read what you don't like & even switch off altogether...

However everyone has the right to disagree & if you dont like robust and sometimes heated democracy at work and cannot accept it. leave.

mental4astro (Alexander) · #93 20-02-2016, 08:54 AM

Damn right it is!

This thread is 100% Passive Aggressive!

It has to be.

The attitude of 'grow a pair, sister' is a destructive one. It has its place, don't get me wrong, in the RIGHT place it means life or death. But here is not the place for this approach.

"Help Help i'm being bullied BAN the open forum poster as I don't like the cut of their jib" Sorry mate, that shows a lack of understanding of what I am talking about. I am not talking about a broken finger nail. I am all for robust discussion. But to ridicule, stomp, lambast, you really think that is a mature attitude?

If all you see is sissy attitudes regarding what bullying is, I feel sorry for you. If you see it as weakness for taking it on, I feel sorry for you.

I had this attitude once too. What will it take for you to come to see it is not a great one to hold? Nothing weak in it. I managed to stop a mate taking his life because I changed too. He named his first son after me five years later.

'Bullying' has a lot of sissy connotations. It is much broader than just an eight letter word. Cowardice in espousing it is the real sissy.

04Stefan07 (Stefan) · #94 20-02-2016, 10:48 AM

@bigjoe

"It was for these reasons I walked away from IIS for about a year and yes"

I felt the same way but the only thing that stopped me from leaving was a bunch of people on here who are really nice, genuine and like to show their passion and share their hobby with the rest of us.

There are only literally a couple on here who have ruined my experience and now I sometimes think twice if I should make a post or not. I would like to keep putting things up for sale but have slowed down recently.

When it comes to expressing an opinion I wish we could without being shut down or thinking if I don't think like this person then I am wrong. We all have a right to say what we feel or think.

How the forum is run, in my honest opinion I am not a fan of.

mental4astro (Alexander) · #95 20-02-2016, 11:04 AM

Look, one thing EVERYONE who participates here shares one thing in common - you do so not to expect to be insulted, ridiculed, humiliated, railroaded or cliqued out.

Those who just visit the site don't expect to encounter disgraceful behavior from a supposedly enlightened group.

So why the hell do some insist on this?

Freaking simple. What is there not to understand?

astroron (Ron) · #96 20-02-2016, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mental4astro

Look, one thing EVERYONE who participates here shares one thing in common - you do so not to expect to be insulted, ridiculed, humiliated, railroaded or cliqued out.

Those who just visit the site done expect to encounter disgraceful behavior for a supposedly enlightened group.

So why the hell do some insist on this?

Freaking simple. What is there not to understand?

One thing you have failed to do is show where this has happened.
All this is your opinion which you are vigorously pushing without little or no evidence.

I note that you have been selective to who you reply to.
Not answering my post just like you ignored my PM all those years ago when you started on this campaign.
All this large and coloured letters don't make any difference to altering any ones opinion
We have on this site well over 14,000 members who seem to get along just fine without any problems.
If they do have any problems they sort them out then get on with life.
Astronomy must be bad round your neck of the woods as you seem to have nothing to do but beat this drum.
Give it away and go and do something useful.
Cheers

GeoffW1 (Geoff) · #97 20-02-2016, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astroron

One thing you have failed to do is show where this has happened.
All this is your opinion which you are vigorously pushing without little or no evidence.

I note that you have been selective to who you reply to.
Not answering my post just like you ignored my PM all those years ago when you started on this campaign.
All this large and coloured letters don't make any difference to altering any ones opinion
We have on this site well over 14,000 members who seem to get along just fine without any problems.
If they do have any problems they sort them out then get on with life.
Astronomy must be bad round your neck of the woods as you seem to have nothing to do but beat this drum.
Give it away and go and do something useful.
Cheers

Now Ron,

To haul up my colours, I'm with Alex, so to it.....

Is this cranky stuff above an attempt by you to say Alex can't have an opinion of his own and should smartly fall into line with yours ? Getting close to bullying Alex are you? If not, then what ? I'd say your last two sentences are particularly insulting and personal.

Geoff

xelasnave · #98 20-02-2016, 01:48 PM

Geoff you seem to be bullying Ron.

I noticed this thread because of recent action and have only now read it.
I have never noticed bullying here.
Some people can be pushy but often that is just their way.

I come from an age when bullying was physical so I find it hard to understand why if one feels they are being bullied via a keyboard to simply ignore it.

If someone is bent on attacking you by ignoring them you deny them their sadistic pleasure of seeing you respond with anguish.

To turn the cheek is a powerful tool but few have the strenght in character to manage the problem this way because pride prevents them letting another have the last word. If you know you are right that does not mean you have to make that public to be validated.

astroron (Ron) · #99 20-02-2016, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffW1

Now Ron,

To haul up my colours, I'm with Alex, so to it.....

Is this cranky stuff above an attempt by you to say Alex can't have an opinion of his own and should smartly fall into line with yours ? Getting close to bullying Alex are you? If not, then what ? I'd say your last two sentences are particularly insulting and personal.

Geoff

That's your opinion,which you're entitled to have.
Cheers

astroron (Ron) · #**100** 20-02-2016, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffW1

Now Ron,

To haul up my colours, I'm with Alex, so to it.....

Is this cranky stuff above an attempt by you to say Alex can't have an opinion of his own and should smartly fall into line with yours ? Getting close to bullying Alex are you? If not, then what ? I'd say your last two sentences are particularly insulting and personal.

Geoff

PS I laid out my Argument for Alex to comment (refute) he chose not to, but has since PM'd me.
I will no longer continue in this thread as I have said all I am going to say.
I was surprised that you would call me a bully,even though I laid all my arguments out for all to see.
You are obviously of the mind that a person can post what he likes but is not be open to debate if what he says is controversial, which the accusations of bullying is.
Cheers