Whew! I'll try to answer some of your question, make a couple of observations and try to give you a direction to go.
1. If you are removing the lens of your camera and putting it inplace of the eyepiece that is called prime focus. Afocal is when you leave the camera lens on and shoot through the eyepiece. Each technique has it pluses and minuses.
2. You have said you "then download onto a PC" so I'll assume you aren't viewing live on the pc but on the camcorder screen. Is there anyway you can view live on your PC screen rather than the camera screen? That will make you life a lot easier. Either way try to focus on something easy like the moon then swing to the planet.
3. Part of your problem seems to be over exposure. Is there anyway you can manually adjust things like the frame rate, exposure value, brightness and gain? (the last one is probably asking alot

) With your setup if you process the avie and the moons are that visible then you have something set too hight.
4. The field of view will be very small. If you camera chip is anything like the ToUcam in size (both pixel and physical) then it will compare to the magnification of a 6mm (and approx field of view of a plossl) eyepiece. Add a barlow and the field of view shrinks considerably.
5. Do you leave the diagonal in when shooting with the camera or do you take the diagonal out. With some scope you will have to leave the diagonal in whether you are using eyepieces of a camera. If you have taken the diagonal out to capture, put an eyepiece in and see if you can reach focus then. If not then you will need to leave the diagonal in.
6. I'm not familiar with your camera but it shouldn't make any difference. Focusing shouldn't have anything to do with the camera. However you "may" have to leave the lens on and shoot afocally.
7. Save you files as uncompressed avies if possible and process them in
Registax
8. 76mm is fine. It's the flimsy mount that is the problem. Do a goodle search on stiffening a wobbly mount. There are sure to be heaps of info out there.
9. Lucky last. Try to avoid filming Jupiter for too long. It rotates very fast and filming for too long will blurr features. The higher the magnification the shorter the shot with 90 sec for fairly high mag. You should be right for a couple of minutes though.