Of course I'm serious.
Isn't cutting the tube out of the question?
Drilling a few holes is no big deal, but as I said before drilling the draw tube hole may be an issue. It all depends on the diameter of the draw tube hole as compared to the spacing of the focuser mounting holes. You may need to make a mounting plate that holds the focuser, and to cover the existing draw tube hole, maybe. This way the scope can be readily returned to it's original state, plus a few hole grommets.
Of course if money is no issue a low profile focuser, assuming it's low enough to give you focus is by far the best option.
Eric's fix also has a good chance to work well, definitely worth a try, so long as it holds collimation with no trauma to the scope.