When are chilis ripe

[Jen]

Originally Posted by kinetic

Ohboyyyy!! I just had my first one.
It's about an inch long. I've eaten about half so far.
Very Hot!....I don't think I can describe any flavour
to speak of because the heat is so overwhelming.
If it's any indicator of how hot they get when red....
hmmmm

Steve

good luck with the hot hot ones Steve

[wavelandscott (Scott)]

If you don't break a sweat it is not hot enough...I love them all!

[Ric]

I agree with Scott.

Chillis are good for you.

[mental4astro (Alexander)]

Steve, the chillies in your pic look like Serrano's. Yes, they are hot buggers.

[Rokketboy (Jared)]

Just be careful of how you handle the chillis as well. I made the silly mistake of once splitting one open with my fingers to get to the seed, thus getting chilli juice on my fingers. A minute or so later I got dirt/sand in my eyes off the potting bench and without thinking rubbed my eyes.
I was blinded for about 20-30 mins. I couldn't really open my eyes at all and they wouldnt stop watering and it stung like a ##$$^%.
I spent the whole 20 mins calling myself every name under the sun that involved stupidity.

[Jen]

Originally Posted by Rokketboy

Just be careful of how you handle the chillis as well. I made the silly mistake of once splitting one open with my fingers to get to the seed, thus getting chilli juice on my fingers. A minute or so later I got dirt/sand in my eyes off the potting bench and without thinking rubbed my eyes.
I was blinded for about 20-30 mins. I couldn't really open my eyes at all and they wouldnt stop watering and it stung like a ##$$^%.
I spent the whole 20 mins calling myself every name under the sun that involved stupidity.

sorry Jared but i am LMAO after reading that

[JimmyH155]

Watch out for those lantern shaped ones. They only ever go pink - not red. They are HOT HOT HOT. You guys dont seriously eat them RAW, do you??? That is sufficient for you to be committed
I use half a lantern one in a curry for 4 people, and they complain that is too hot.......
I preserve my surplus ones in a little jar of olive oil - lasts over a year and no refrigeration needed

[Craig.a.c (Craig)]

Originally Posted by mental4astro

Reminded me of a recent incident here in Oz where some dumb private security guards used this spray in a fight.

We are not aloud to use capsicum or pepper spray in the security industry in NSW, we can get a gun licence and shoot someone but pepper spray is illegal. Only the police are aloud to use it.

[Ric]

Originally Posted by Rokketboy

Just be careful of how you handle the chillis as well. I made the silly mistake of once splitting one open with my fingers to get to the seed, thus getting chilli juice on my fingers. A minute or so later I got dirt/sand in my eyes off the potting bench and without thinking rubbed my eyes.
I was blinded for about 20-30 mins. I couldn't really open my eyes at all and they wouldnt stop watering and it stung like a ##$$^%.
I spent the whole 20 mins calling myself every name under the sun that involved stupidity.

Guilty of that one as well.

A mate of mine told me he did one worse, he was splitting chilli's to dry them out and went to the loo without thinking of the consequences of his actions

You can guess the rest.

[Exfso (Peter)]

Steve, judjing by the photo, it has a way to go before it reaches what I would call ripe. I am eating that type now and they are bright red. You always know a good chilli, it burns at least twice, if you know what I mean.

[multiweb (Marc)]

Originally Posted by renormalised

It's called the Scoville Scale. Starts at 1 and goes through to 10...one being barely detectable, 10 being able to initiate nuclear fusion.

[that_guy (Tony)]

you guys make me HUNGRY!!!!

[Exfso (Peter)]

This reminds me of the Chilli Cookoff......

Chilli-Cook Off's

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chilli cook-off in Texas.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chilli Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, Illinois. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light Truck, when
the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

Chilli #1 MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI.....

Judge #1
A little to heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2
Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very Mild

Judge #3
(Frank)-Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chilli #2 AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILLI.....

Judge #1
Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2
Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge #3
Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people that wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chilli #3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILLI.....

Judge #1
Excellent Firehouse chilli. Great kick.

Judge #2
A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3
Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh ' t-faced from all the beer.

Chilli #4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC.....

Judge #1
Black Bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing

Judge #2
Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.

Judge #3
I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac????

Chilli #5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER.....

Judge #1
Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge #2
Chilli using shredded beef could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge #3
My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming. Screw them.

Chilli #6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY.....

Judge #1
Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance of spices and peppers

Judge #2
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic! Superb

Judge #3
My intestines are now a straight pipe filed with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through my chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chilli #7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILLI.....

Judge #1
A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge #2
Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge #3
You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chilli, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth.. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's to painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chilli #8 BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILLI.....

Judge #1
The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chilli. Not to bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

Judge #2
This final entry is a good, balanced chilli. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chilli pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chilli????/

Judge #3
NO REPORT!!!!!

[Hagar (Doug)]

Just try one Steve, if it burns twice it's ready.

[kinetic (Steve)]

I have already Doug
It's been about a week and I don't quite have
the courage to indulge in any more just yet

funny stories fellas

Steve

[DavidU (Dave)]

Been there, done that ! An ice pack made no difference.

Originally Posted by Ric

Guilty of that one as well.

A mate of mine told me he did one worse, he was splitting chilli's to dry them out and went to the loo without thinking of the consequences of his actions

You can guess the rest.

[mill (Martin)]

Steve chilli's are no good, go for wasabe instead, that will grow hair in places undiscovered

[mental4astro (Alexander)]

Originally Posted by mill

Steve chilli's are no good, go for wasabe instead, that will grow hair in places undiscovered

I had my first "experience" of horseradish at a German social club in Sydney's west about 10 years ago. Never going to forget it! Went with a mate and we ordered a Pork Knuckle each- out came half a pig, each! It was accompanied by an assortment of sauces- never thought Germans had so many varieties of 'mustard'.

Liking the 'MasterFoods' German mustard, I slopped on a hearty gloop of the 'mustard' closest to me and down the hatch! I spontaneously stopped breathing when the fumes cut into my nostrils. I wanted to rip my entire nasal cavity out of my head with my bare hands. My nose dripped like a tap, and with my crying eyes and perspiration I was near dehydrated to a crisp in moments. I tried to drink water, but I had no swallowing reflex.

My mate didn't blink. He had a death wish himself. He didn't touch any of the other 'mustards'. Not only finished the entire horseradish pot, he ordered some more to finish of his knuckle with!

I managed to get some tucker in after a long while. Shame I couldn't taste anything though, as I'm a fan of pork knuckle!

Craig, I apologise that I did actually get the security guards mixed up, .

[DavidU (Dave)]

Originally Posted by mental4astro

I slopped on a hearty gloop of the 'mustard' closest to me and down the hatch! I spontaneously stopped breathing when the fumes cut into my nostrils. I wanted to rip my entire nasal cavity out of my head with my bare hands. My nose dripped like a tap, and with my crying eyes and perspiration I was near dehydrated to a crisp in moments. I tried to drink water, but I had no swallowing reflex.
.

[that_guy (Tony)]

are they called horseradish because it feels like a kick in the mouth by a horse when you eat it?