Cheer Up

[AstralTraveller (David)]

Originally Posted by xelasnave

A piece of string will go to any lengths for a drink it seems.
Alex

They just soak it up!

[xelasnave]

Originally Posted by AstralTraveller

They just soak it up!

They get strung out if you don't keep it up to them.
Alex

[AstralTraveller (David)]

I was told this yesterday. It's not really a joke but all us old fahrts in the tea room found it funny.

Q. How do you prevent today's teenagers from stealing your car?

A. Drive a manual.

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by Nath2099

Where exactly did I say that all middle aged whit men tell racist sexist jokes?

Marginalisation of men LOL. Give me a break.

Politically correct twaddle = being nice to people. We saw exactly what not being politically correct means when Trump got elected. All the racist, misogynist ********s felt they had free reign to abuse and harass anyone not white or in possession of a ******, under the guise of "free speech" or "anti-politically correct".

I can do that too ******s, ******
What would you like broken?

[xelasnave]

On taking revenge a man is but equal to his enemy however to pass it over he is superior for it is a princes part to pardon.

Alex

[xelasnave]

What happened when the frogs car broke down?
It was toad away.
Alex

[Nath2099]

No need for threats of physical violence pal.

Or you may have been referring to the asterix's...? The website software puts those in automatically, it was not my doing. The two words I used in order were "Richard Craniums" and "female anatomy starting with v".

[xelasnave]

Stop fighting or Santa won't come.
Please gentlemen resist the urge to have the last word and address whatever it is in the real world that is getting you upset.
Could it be Xmas for example all the pressure, financial or the thought of spending a day with some folk that you don't like but will be forced to be polite to even when you would like to crush them.
You are both generalising and attacking a phantom, there is no point.
If you can not add to the thread with a joke, that is not some how having the last word please don't post.
Its Xmas season which if nothing else should have everyone being nice to each other.
Alex

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by Nath2099

No need for threats of physical violence pal.

I'm not your "Pal", and you offered. Before dumping a tirade on people because they have a different view on life, learn your facts and don't dump tripe on the populace. Whatever your experience is, it is different from everyone else's.

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by xelasnave

Stop fighting or Santa won't come.
Please gentlemen resist the urge to have the last word and address whatever it is in the real world that is getting you upset.
Could it be Xmas for example all the pressure, financial or the thought of spending a day with some folk that you don't like but will be forced to be polite to even when you would like to crush them.
You are both generalising and attacking a phantom, there is no point.
If you can not add to the thread with a joke, that is not some how having the last word please don't post.
Its Xmas season which if nothing else should have everyone being nice to each other.
Alex

Io Saturnalia, Alex... which says many things in one

[xelasnave]

Originally Posted by el_draco

Io Saturnalia, Alex... which says many things in one

Even after a trip to Wiki to brush up I have no idea.
So I hope its all good.
Not many sleeps to go.
Alex

[Shano592 (Shane)]

Folks, a couple of things:

1. This is a light-hearted thread. If you are going to go on the attack, I hear that the Whirlpool forums are waiting for your arrival.
2. This site is a positive site. Again, Whirlpool, if you want to be aggressive/negative.


In saying that:

Q. Why won't a shark eat a lawyer?
A. Professional courtesy.

[AussieTrooper (Ben)]

I'd rather get a present from Saturn than Santa. I hear there are some pretty promising looking oil fields on Titan.

[AussieTrooper (Ben)]

Oh, right, lawyer jokes...

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

[Boozlefoot]

Sorry, too late for Titan, Gina Reinhardt has already taken up the mineral rights there!

[FlashDrive (Poppy)]

A 99 year old Gentleman considers he doesn't have much time left, so he decides to go and have his last beer.

He walks ( with his stick ) into a Bar and waits to be served.

The female bar attender comes up and asks him what he would like to drink

He says ' I'll have a 1925 Glass of your best beer '

She says to him ' but we don't have any 1925 beer ' ...but I can give you a delicious glass of 2016 larger ......

No thank you, I want a 1925 best beer yah got in the house ...

This goes on for about 10min and finally the Bar Maid goes to the Bar Manger and tells him about the elderly gentleman insisting on a 1925 beer.....

Bar Manger tell her ' just pour him a beer and tell him it's a 1925 beer.

She walks up to the old man and says .... well you wouldn't believe it ...I found some 1925 beer...

He replies ' why thank you .... here's your ' THREEPENCE '

Col......

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by xelasnave

Even after a trip to Wiki to brush up I have no idea.
Alex

Ahh... Saturnalia is a celebration of the Roman god Saturn, which used to happen around this time of year. It was a time of merriment and good will. Masters served their slaves and everyone had a jolly good time... (Of course this is a VERY simplified explanation and the dates changed a bit for various reasons). The celebration was usurped by the christians and became what it is today.

Most say Merry christmas and a happy new year these days. The Romans would say "Io Saturnalia" (and) "Dies Natalis Solis Invicti", the later meaning (roughly) "birthday of the unconquered sun" marking the Winter Solstice and the commencement of longer days...

Its a more appropriate celebration in my humble, not just for the astro implications and its basis in fact but also because its the original... not the counterfeit.

Lots of lawyers were fed to the lions as well... how appropriate!

[xelasnave]

Hi ROM
Thank you for such an informative post my problem was trying to see the many ways one may interpreted it.
It is funny no one says happy birthday Jesus given the whole thing which I can't and won't go into.

Those poor lions I have found most lawyers a bit hard to swallow.

I seem to recall Roman law featured in our law but I can not recall how it did...Fortunately I recall few things these days about previous lifetimes.
Alex

[AstralTraveller (David)]

It's just occurred to me that there are some lawyers who have become quite popular and well-loved by some, but not for practicing law.

Peter Garrett is a lawyer, though he never took the wig. Instead he fronted on of Australia's better bands who sang about a lot of issues I care about. Pity he was a pretty inept polly.

John Cleese studied law at Cambridge and obtained a job in a law firm, which he never commenced as a small career in comedy got in the way. He was going to study science but realised he just didn't have that all-consuming drive that real scientists need.

[xelasnave]

I tried to get into pharmacy at Sydney Uni, did not make it so went back to school. After three days looked in the paper saw a job for an article clerk applied got it and forgot about becoming a chemist.
The best move I made was giving it in and going into real estate.
But I did learn a great deal did some very exciting things but backed away from a partnership to get out. My friends and family thought I was mad.
But real estate is such fun helping people find homes and investments.
Law is a great background for anything.
The real estate course had one year of building and I bet I know more about building (did once)/than a working builder.
But that was so handy.
Even today to get to sleep I design and cost a house down to the number of screws and paint..well to the point that I nod off.
I think of my career as real estate because I picked doing that when informed whereas applying for the job in the solicitors office was out of desperation to get out of doing another year at school.
And so glad to not ended up with a pharmacy which just seem to sell make up and shampoo.
I would do more real chemistry with my chemistry set I bet.
Alex