Ahhh Geek engineers

its not a Geek engineer term! its a common engineering term!
All of your thoughts are just dandy and yes bolts your correct in thinking what you do Lot of weight close to the system is better to reduce flexure (bending moment) of the shaft. though when your like me im balancing close to 26kgs off the end of my mount. If i where to use just the same counter weight sizes ide need close to 6 5kg weights... try lugging that around
At present i have 2 x 5kg SW weights, 2 x 5kg dunbell weights + half a paver just to reach balance. hence why i have opted for a 200mm extension bar. I have to say looking at the materials used i belive that flexure will mean jack all, why do i say this? well its just a static weight on the end of the bar there is nothing depending on the lack of flexure aka guiding and the scope moves that slow that it will not matter.
The only time that you would worry about it is if you where really loading the thing up till it was close to the Yeilding point of the materials (but at a 20mm thick steel rod i don't think it will at 200GPa approx)
To give you an idea of what the EQ6 can handle "IF BALANCED CORRECTLY" will hold a 120mm Celestron refractor, 80mm SW Equinox and a 12" SW Dob along with all accociated photography equipment. Laugh if you will but it produces nice sharp images.
So what is the secret.!?
1. Balancing - very important
2. Ridgity in your scope mountings.. actually even more important than balancing....
The EQ Mounts are what i would consider the top of the range for beginners they are Tough, they are Sturdy and they are Resonably accurate in tracking.
If you balance the kit out perfectly that is put everything on before you balance (if your doing photography balance it initially with your photography kit) your motors will not experience a great deal of force... though be aware that a little bit of pressure is good to suppress back lash and give the motors something to push against.! (read up on the PHD guiding manuals!).
other than that Good luck remember your trying to get precision out of a non precision device! push it to its limits and learn!