RTFI! Thanks goodness for them...........

[erick (Eric)]

........else I've never know what to do with the Pilates DVD stuck inside my Special K packet.

"LOADING INSTRUCTIONS: Insert Pilates DVD into your DVD player and press Play on your remote"

[AstralTraveller (David)]

INADEQUATE

They don't specify which way up to put the DVD, nor into which part of the DVD to insert it. Also what if you don't have a remote - there is no contingency plan. No wonder I can never get these things to work!!

[MrB (Simon)]

Hehe, reminds me of the John 'Wonko the Sane' Watson character in the Hitchhickers series.
Lifted from a website:
After reading the instructions on the back of a box of toothpicks he decided the world was insane and built an asylum to put it in. His asylum was basically an inside-out house. He lived on the outside (inside) with his wife, Arcane Jill Watson, because they were sane. The rest of the world lived on the inside (outside) because they were not.

In the book there is mention of a plaque mounted over the door to the outside(to the asylum) that reads:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.

I'd be surprised if Douglas Adams didn't actually read that on a box of toothpicks...

[gmbfilter (Geoff)]

A......hhh so you need Special K

[erick (Eric)]

Originally Posted by gmbfilter

A......hhh so you need Special K

Yep! One day I'm going to have legs like that model who advertises the stuff! And her red high heels!

[TrevorW]

Question ???

If theirs a sychronised swim team and I drowns do they all drown

[g__day (Matthew)]

I remember reading translated English instructions on a box of Japanese condoms that ended with the cryptic caution - Warning - Not to be used for other intended use!

[Starkler (Geoff)]

Cautions? The best one of all time has to be the one seen on a sachet of airline provided peanuts. "Caution, contains nuts".

[MrB (Simon)]

Hehe, was watching Billy Conolly's Tour of NZ last night after the Olympics and he told a story about a whale carcas off the coast of Adelaide that was being fed upon by sharks.
Some guy was running tourists out there to watch the frenzy and a woman, with baby in arms, stepped off the boat and onto the whale carcas to get a better look!.
Billy then said, it's for people like this that there are labels on hairdriers that say 'Warning - Do not use in the shower'
So true.

[Ric]

When are they going to bring back the free toy in cereal packets.

I miss my free toy

[Miaplacidus (Brian)]

I remember an early incarnation of the blower hand drier. The word AUTO was printed on the button. Above the button the explanation: "Press button and drier will start automatically."

!?!

[Glenhuon (Bill)]

A few years ago we had a revamp of the vehicle use at work. There were 3 classes, 1 Job specific, 2 Occasional, 3 Pool. Mine was in the first class. Everyone was supposed to follow the rules passed out on an A4 sheet.
I was asked by the lady boss of the admin area one day why I didn't book out my vehicle, but i said that it's mine, no one else uses it. "did'nt you read the instructions" she replied. I explained that only read instructions when all else fails.
To which she answered "I'm not just a pretty face Bill". There's no answer to that.

Bill

[Jen]