1. Hooters is not a fairytale written for boys just hitting puberty, there actually is such a place. Imagine you're an Israelite and you've just discovered the promised land...same sort of feeling.
2. A ute is called a truck, they come in three sizes. big truck, damn big truck and HOLY CRAP!
3. Every vehicle on the road wants to kill you.
4. A GPS is mandatory...unless you find spending four hours on a turn pike amusing...I didn't.
5. "Cracker" is NOT a word you may want to use there, it means something completely different over here and it may get you dead in some alley.
6. Bubba is alive and well and has heaps of kin folk also named Bubba..including his wife and dog
7. Corn bread!!
8. Where as at home we have the Worlds biggest pineapple, the biggest banana, the biggest prawn and the biggest lobster, there is a shop in Orlando that has the worlds biggest rubber dildo...it is a must see.
9. BUD beer... I think the U stands for Urine but I haven't worked out what the B and D are short for...if you do, please email me.
10. Corn bread!!!! (again)
11. When smuggling Cuban cigars from the Bahamas into the USA, there's no need to secret them up your rectom. They didn't scan my bags and now they taste crappy and I walk funny.
12. At 2.00am on the plane with headphones on, just because you can't hear yourself fart doesn't mean nobody else can. (a tip thanks to the gent in row 43 seat B)
13. Tie a shoelace around your old fella and attatch it to your lowest shirt button. This stops it dangling in the toilet water. Thier water is much higher up the bowl than ours is.
14. The size of the hole in the toilet is some sort of wierd optical illusion. Yes it will fit through...you could pass a baby through that sucker.
15. Apparently it is customary to honk your horn at any time and for any reason, everyone else does... I think it means hello.
16. Standing on the edge of Lake Jessup making noises like a wounded chicken and splashing your foot in the water, will not entise an Alligator close enough to pat him. Go to a zoo... Alligators aren't stupid.
17. Turtles aren't slow, that's a myth. Try out running a Florida Soft Shell... you'll lose.
18. On thier cruise ships, hop off the toilets before you flush. Unless you want your liver and small intestines dragged out through your sphincter. They will suck the skin clean off your bum! They should come with a warning.
19. Two weeks before you fly out, practice sucking the contents of your cats litter box through a dirty wet sock atleast three times a day. By the time you get there you'll be able to drink thier coffee.
20. Once it is discovered you are an Aussie, every Yankadonian will say "G'day mate" to you. Do not let them know we don't actually say that, it's cute and quite entertaining with thier accents.
21. Take plenty of Tim-Tams, these can be used as bartering tools for anything from accomodation to souveneers.
22. Speedos are a big no-no there too. They will cancel your visa... don't risk it.
23. Corn bread! I can't stress this enough
24. It's common knowledge us Aussies like our cheeses. If a Yankadonian offers you a taste of the exotic sounding Fromundah cheese, say tah but no tah.
25. Take plenty of band-aids and talcum powder, over there thongs go on your bum and the rubber toe strap leaves a nasty rash... maybe I just wore mine backwards ?
26. N.A.S.A. is a must visit! my only criticism is they don't sell corn bread.
27. Tipping there is different than tipping here, it's not offering words of wisdom, not tipping your hat and not cow tipping. You are supposed to give them money...personally I find cow tipping more fun
Can totally, totally relate to the amount of water in their toilets!!
Also, don't forget an "entree" is their "main" and if you want an entree, it's a "starter"... and if you order a salad, be prepared for 1001 choices in dressings!
Mark
Starkler, that looks like the collection I got from the local pub a few years ago (the leftovers from an "Oktoberfest") Got 2 cartons of mixed international beers for $20 each. The Belgian stuff was great, Indian was drinkable, The Scottish was of course delicious, German lager was nice, and the N. American stuff was... well, like coloured water.
Why would one bother to go there, I haven't seen any where near enough of Australia yet, but I had better hurry up, as I'm slowly desending down the other side of that hill
Why would one bother to go there, I haven't seen any where near enough of Australia yet, but I had better hurry up, as I'm slowly desending down the other side of that hill
Leon
My sentiments too .... too much to see and do here ....
Mind you .... I wouldn't mind visiting Ireland, Wales and Scotland (to see where the ancestors came from and gather some family history stuff and info) ... one day
If I ever went to the americas , I'd be more interested in seeing the Amazon (maybe trying some fishing there ) , and maybe the desert and sparcely populated areas of the USA (if there are such places) for the photography and scenary.
I hate going to Sydney .... why on earth would I want to visit a string of big cities in the USA ?
If I'd wanted to visit a string of big cities I wouldn't have had to leave the country..we have them here.
Unfortunately we don't have NASA, or shuttle launches, we don't have cruises through the Bahamas, also the friends I wanted to visit live there not here. Astronaut Story Musgrave is getting too old to manage a visit to my home so I met him there instead.
I wanted to photograph wild Alligators, Raccoons and Squirells in the middle of suburbia, unfortunately I just couldn't seem to find any in Sydney so had to settle for a visit to Florida.
If anyone can point me to the Grand Canyon, the World Trade Centre site, the Statue of Liberty and Mount Rushmore here in Australia I'd be much appreciated, it would save me bothering to have to go back again in a few months
I take it that you had a fun trip overseas.
) , and maybe the desert and sparcely populated areas of the USA (if there are such places) for the photography and scenary.
