New element discovered ;>)

[Terry B]

"Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons."

[Screwdriverone (Chris)]

HA HA, very good Terry, thanks for posting

Cheers

Chris

[TrevorW]

I knew it I'm a peon

[Ric]

Good one Terry, that's a ripper.

Cheers

[el_draco (Rom)]

Originally Posted by Terry B

"Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

10/10 for that. I Teach Chem...

[JimmyH155]

iSODOPES I love it

[sheeny (Al)]

Al.

[Kevnool (Kev)]

Funny.
Cheers Kev.

[pgc hunter]

"Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration."

gold

[GrahamL]

Terry this is very worrying , the element seems way to unstable and
dangerous to have around , do you think dropping it all in a large hole and pouring in concrete could possibly contain it ?

[Terry B]

Originally Posted by nightstalker

Terry this is very worrying , the element seems way to unstable and
dangerous to have around , do you think dropping it all in a large hole and pouring in concrete could possibly contain it ?

I don't thing that we can get enough concrete.

[pgc hunter]

This particular element has been known to emit radioactivity at very high temperatures. Usually occurs during Parliament sitting. Has been known to cause anger and lying in affected individuals.

[Screwdriverone (Chris)]

Originally Posted by nightstalker

Terry this is very worrying , the element seems way to unstable and
dangerous to have around , do you think dropping it all in a large hole and pouring in concrete could possibly contain it ?

No, sorry, this won't work, Governmentium has an EXTREMELY long half life, which continues to leech off the environment by eating through surplus fuel given to its successors, decades after the sample has spent its own fuel during its time exposed to the air.

Certainly, some samples have been proven to be found aboard airplanes, trains, buses and even in public service cars LONG after they were supposedly declared inert. There have even been examples of certain samples of spent Governmentium fusing with similar composition family members aboard these vehicles which often goes unnoticed for YEARS.

This then results in a severe and complicated clean up procedure that is started by the newly created Governmentium through the application of extreme external pressure on the residue by the public application of a media that is used to xray the samples reaction to the current environment but in the end simply gets discarded once the catalyst is consumed by the massively long and slow reaction process to the original sample.

It is, unfortunately a double edged sword element, you cannot possibly survive without Governmentium, but in the end, you can never get rid of its waste or its residue.

(written, spoken and authorised by Screwdriverone for the Ice In Space AntiGovernmentium Alliance)

Cheers

Chris

[allan gould]

Originally Posted by Terry B

I don't thing that we can get enough concrete.

Its thick enough without adding to it

[AlexN]

Governmentium sounds pretty damn dense to me... I would imagine it has the potential for explosive reactions should it reach critical mass?

[supernova1965 (Warren)]

Originally Posted by AlexN

Governmentium sounds pretty damn dense to me... I would imagine it has the potential for explosive reactions should it reach critical mass?

Doesn't everything have to be in agreement/alignment to reach critical mass

[AlexN]

Bahhahhahaa.... Shouldda thought of that.. I guess we're all safe then, becase from what I understand of governmentium is that there is not a snowballs chance on the hottest day in hell of the neutron, assistants, deputies and peons all agreeing on an anything.

[Vartigy]

According to the MSDSheet , this element exists in it's own periodic table. The original series table is purely an addition to the Governmentium table, and 'lives to serve' its existence.
Or so I've been told.

And the MSDS sheet has in large font on the front.
NOT FOR RATIONAL VIEWING!

There are reports of a sub element to Governmentium, Politicium, existing in certain mineral nodes. But the belief in its properties is subject to the falsities surround such outcrops and the lies and deceit that go with such findings.

[michaellxv (Michael)]

There is also the very closely related Large Corporatium (LC). It has a similar composition and atomic mass to Gv. Instead of neutrons its core is made up of protons also held together by morons and surrounded by peons.

The proton in LC has a tendancy to make quick decisions but the actions of the assistant and deputy protons ensure that the peons are ineffective and cannot implement the decision before a new decision is made.

LC goes through a cycle of gradually increasing in mass during which peons can become protons. Reorganisation of LC can occur in periods of 6 - 12 months. Once LC reaches a critical mass there is a sharp decrease in mass during which mostly the oldest protons and youngest peons are radiated out.

The radiated protons and peons are often absorbed by nearby LC. LC has a curious ability to both attract and repel other LC atoms at the same time. There is a strong attractive force between LC and Gv.

Long term exposure to either or both LC and Gv tends to make one waffle on with dribble like this

[lacad01 (Adam)]

Originally Posted by michaellxv

There is also the very closely related Large Corporatium (LC). It has a similar composition and atomic mass to Gv

I've also heard that the species commonly known as "fat cat" and or "beurocrat" are highly dependant upon these two elements for survival