Pet Rules

[jjjnettie (Jeanette)]

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[[1ponders] (Paul)]

Can you do that up as a poster and sell it at the next Astrofest Jeanette....I'd love one

[janoskiss (Steve H)]

Ah, so true. You've put a smile on my face JJJ. Thank you!

[jjjnettie (Jeanette)]

It was sent to me by my neighbours. It is so true isn't it.

[Ric]

Hi JJJ, brilliant yet so true.

cheers

[ving (David)]

thats brilliant Jeanette!!
i like this part, it stands out for some reason

To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

[Omaroo (Chris Malikoff)]

Excellent

[Lee]

Nice..... I have a king sized bed, makes me chuckle that bit.... so true!

[leon]

Great read JJJ, i reckon you could flog heaps of them, the posters that is, not the animals.

Cheers Leon

[spacezebra (Petra)]

Ditto - excellent JJJ

Cheers Petra

[ballaratdragons (Ken)]

Originally Posted by jjjnettie

PET RULES
9. Don't want to wear your clothes

Nope, just chew them up

Classic Jeanette. Thanks for the laugh.

[Ric]

Our fur kid Velcro has one rule, "whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine as well".
But he puts up with only having a queen size waterbed to sleep on.

No he is not a spoilt moggy and does not run our lives

[Gargoyle_Steve (Steve)]

I have had this printed out and posted around the house in various places for a year or so ... and as soon as we can teach all 3 dogs to read they may start to take notice.
(NOT holding my breath)

[Rez]

Bonnie enjoyed that immensely!

http://ozphoto.com/notpublic/bonnieputer.jpg

Rez