ICEINSPACE
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Moon Phase
CURRENT MOON
Waning Crescent 10.3%
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07-09-2016, 02:26 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wollongong
Posts: 3,819
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Terrible, terrible chemical joke
Q. Why does a beef pattie have less energy than a steak?
A. Because it is in the ground state.
I assume this is a very old joke, but I've managed to avoid it until now. 
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07-09-2016, 03:06 PM
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Bright the hawk's flight
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Mt Duneed Vic
Posts: 3,982
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Oh dear oh dear! That is awful, and I know awful jokes!!
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07-09-2016, 03:48 PM
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Gravity does not Suck
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tabulam
Posts: 17,003
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I think that is a great joke but many may miss it.
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07-09-2016, 03:56 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Warrnambool
Posts: 12,800
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Yea I missed it all right, it is awful 
Leon 
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07-09-2016, 04:27 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Freo WA
Posts: 1,443
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One atom to another:
Damn... I think I just lost an electron.
>>> Are you sure?
Yes, I'm positive!
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07-09-2016, 07:17 PM
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Ultimate Noob
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 7,013
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Oh no... Dad jokes everywhere 
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07-09-2016, 09:46 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,508
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The Tachyon orders a beer. A Tachyon walks into a bar...
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07-09-2016, 11:23 PM
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Bright the hawk's flight
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Mt Duneed Vic
Posts: 3,982
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Please make it stop!! 
Malcolm
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08-09-2016, 08:44 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 558
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Just made this one up
 Sorry in advance.
A Higgs Boson walks into a bar with a sad look on its face and the barman says, "What's the matter?"
Part 2...
He was then feeling a little empty in life so he then went to mass.
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09-09-2016, 08:38 PM
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Love the moonless nights!
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,285
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This one is a little risque, but what the heck.
Title: A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor
One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current , to watch the sine waves.
Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.
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10-09-2016, 12:17 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Germany 54°N
Posts: 1,110
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10-09-2016, 01:00 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 717
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+1
Quote:
Originally Posted by tlgerdes
This one is a little risque, but what the heck.
Title: A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor
One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current , to watch the sine waves.
Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.
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11-09-2016, 07:32 AM
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Farting Nebulae
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Tamleugh, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,410
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I admit I don't fully understand all the theories but still find the jokes hilarious! Esp the last one.
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11-09-2016, 09:05 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Wonthaggi Vic
Posts: 625
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boom boom!!!!
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11-09-2016, 10:56 AM
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PI rules
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,631
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A ghost walks into a beer hall and orders a rum and coke. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here"
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11-09-2016, 12:06 PM
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Plays well with others!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ridgefield CT USA
Posts: 3,535
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You can never trust an atom...
They literally make up everything...
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11-09-2016, 12:54 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 834
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
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11-09-2016, 07:24 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Lynbrook, Australia
Posts: 682
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"If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"
My better haf likes this one, and said 'of course!'
Philip
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12-09-2016, 06:42 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Woombye, SE Qld, Australia
Posts: 589
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What does a sub-atomic duck say?
Quark.
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12-09-2016, 09:00 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Kilmore, Australia
Posts: 3,364
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I have to save the (Age appropriate) ones here to trot out against my 8 year old as dad jokes.
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