Amusing quotes

[deanm (Dean)]

"America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked."

- David Letterman...

[blink138 (Pat)]

a chalk board outside a pub..... chemically speaking, alcohol is a solution!
pat

[croweater (Richard)]

" The best way to remove temptation is to yield to it" Oscar Wilde So if you buy that eyepiece you want then the temptation will be gone.

[clive milne]

Originally Posted by deanm

"America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked."

- David Letterman...

I suspect that is a function of the ejubucation system there.

Interestingly, Cuba has a higher standard of education than the US in spite of 50 years of punitive sanctions.

fwiw) here's an interesting article by Martin Carnoy
Professor of education and economics at Stanford University
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin..._b_109280.html

Also interesting is that Cuba has amongst the lowest infant mortality rates and highest doctor to patient ratios of any country in the world and actually sends them overseas as something of an export commodity in exchange for resources they would otherwise be denied.
http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/fea...527622647.html
http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/92/12/963.full

I'm guessing that the notion of 'irony' isn't on the list of things that form the basis of the US school curriculum.

[deanm (Dean)]

"Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years".

~ Betsy Salkind...

[deanm (Dean)]

"Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself."

~ Harrison Ford...

[Stonius (Markus)]

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”
-Neil deGrasse Tyson

[deanm (Dean)]

"If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead."

~ Johnny Carson...

[AstralTraveller (David)]

Originally Posted by blink138

a chalk board outside a pub..... chemically speaking, alcohol is a solution!
pat

[pedant] Alcohol is a solvent. Alcoholic drinks are solutions (though, even there, water is the main solvent). [/pedant]

Q. How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but she has to have a soprano stand beside her and say "Isn't that a little high for you, dear?"

[xelasnave]

Originally Posted by Stonius

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”
-Neil deGrasse Tyson

Hate to tell you but I first heard a similar line from a JW refferring to the bible over forty years ago.

Alex

[Larryp (Laurie)]

"America has sent us its only non dollar export-syphilis"
My university pathology lecturer

[deanm (Dean)]

"The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree".

~ Spike Milligan...

[Ric]

Originally Posted by deanm

"Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself."

~ Harrison Ford...

I soooo agree with this, a scientific fact.

[Ric]

"Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason."

Mark Twain

[deanm (Dean)]

"I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire.

God dammit, I'm a billionaire."

~ Howard Hughes...

[graham.hobart (Graham stevens)]

" He bats from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious!"

No I'm not going to buy my daughter an encyclopedia. She can walk to school like I did"

'the future ain't what it used to be"

Quotes from Lawrence Peter 'Yogi' Berra, New York Yankees player and quote machine- look him up, he was hilarious!

[Shano592 (Shane)]

"Always borrow money from a pessimist... He won't expect it back."

-Oscar Wilde

[Shano592 (Shane)]

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

-Douglas Adams

[Shano592 (Shane)]

I heard this one on the ABC a couple of weeks ago:

"If you even dream of beating me, you'd better wake up and apologise."

-Muhammad Ali

[Stonius (Markus)]

Originally Posted by xelasnave

Hate to tell you but I first heard a similar line from a JW refferring to the bible over forty years ago.

Alex

Yikes!! Of course, that would require the JW's being able to prove the existence of God