What happened to manners?

[LewisM]

Just a general observation - where has THANK YOU gone from our society? It's not just the teenagers - I find it more in older adults!

Have we just become a faceless consumer society where even simple manners like Thank You fall by the wayside?

I have to admit in all my sales here, NOT ONE buyer has ever even said they received their item, let alone a thank you or comment. Even my sales on Fleabay etc are the same, regardless of where the item goes.

Sad how our society is heading now. We expect, with no return manners.

[MortonH]

We also seem to have forgotten the phrase "excuse me". I get fed up with people physically pushing past me in queues, on the bus, etc. when all they have to do is say Excuse me and I'll move out of the way. And like you, I see this in all ages.

[Octane (Humayun)]

The Internet is a cold, thankless and impersonal place.

H

[LewisM]

Originally Posted by MortonH

We also seem to have forgotten the phrase "excuse me". I get fed up with people physically pushing past me in queues, on the bus, etc. when all they have to do is say Excuse me and I'll move out of the way. And like you, I see this in all ages.

And chivalry is WELL and truly dead too. Rarely do I see men opening doors for ladies (and have been scorned at by obviously extreme feminist women I have done it for!) or pulling out their chair or opening their car door. Let alone anyone younger standing on a bus or train to let an older person sit.

Today's society is all about Numero Uno.

Sad how we are becoming less human than the computers we make...

[LewisM]

Originally Posted by Octane

The Internet is a cold, thankless and impersonal place.

H

Agreed H, but when their is actual intrinsicness to it you would expect - although seemingly incorrectly - the benefit of a response.

Thank You takes 1 second to say.

[barx1963 (Malcolm)]

We were actually just discussing phone manners. One of the effects of the "mobile phone scourge" afflicting modern societies is that people are used to the person they are ringing knowing who is calling. Unfortunately, when they ring they forget to introduce themselves. I even have friends who ring me on a landline and just start talking without saying "Hi Malcolm it's so and so here". Apparently I am supposed to figure it out from the tone of their voice!
And it is prevelant at work, with customers wringing up and even when they use a name it's just a first name or even worse a nickname.
So I get "Hi it's Knacker's here, is Macca there?" so instead of finding out what they want or if I can help, I am trying figure out who Knackers and Macca are.

Drives me nuts, what is wrong with using first name and surname so everyone knows what is going on!

Malcolm

[LewisM]

Another valid observation Malcolm.

[multiweb (Marc)]

Simple. Bad parenting. You get out what you put in. Kids get worse, have kids who get worse, etc... snowball effect.

[AstralTraveller (David)]

Manners are not dead, though perhaps they are not always as we would like. I agree with H about the internet (and I'm probably part of the problem there) and I find mobile phone junkies rude (the ones who can't keep up a face to face conversation because they are texting five others at the same time). However in other areas people are pretty good. On campus queues are respected and people give way at doorways etc. When I ride the shuttle bus nearly everyone thanks the driver as they alite and space is made and seats vacated for old, infirm etc as needed. Naturally there is some variation in behaviour and I have to say they the most likely demographic of the rude or ignorant is younger (early teen?) Australians while perhaps the most courteous is a racial group that receive bad press in some quarters.

Lewis, many years ago when I worked in sales the same thing happened to me. So I took down the order then finished by confirming the order and their name and company - of course getting the last bit wrong on occasions because I didn't know every voice. After a few weeks the more astute customers started to specify their name at the start of the conversation.

[Kunama]

Thank you Lewis for bringing this very important matter to our attention.

I must admit I too am guilty of this transgression at times.
With regard to my astro purchases this year I would like to once again thank :
astroboy
lhansen
flash drive
casstony
unipol
MattT
Meru
gbastro
dougmc
alderney
myastroshop
optcorp

Between these IIS members they have lightened my wallet to the tune of $10,000 this year and brought me lots of toys and joys.
Seriously though, there is a steady decline not only in manners but in attitudes that would not be tolerated in days of old.

I find in shopping centres the youth of today will not step to one side to allow elderly to pass.
Too many parents telling them they own the world I guess.

Cheers
Matt

[MortonH]

Good manners cost nothing, but being an IIS member can cost you thousands!!!

[chrisp9au (Chris)]

The age of chivalry is still alive, in some of us.
But sometimes it's not received very well!
I'm a country lad, only head into town when I have to.
Giving up a seat on the bus/train, opening doors for a lady, is how I was raised.
But these days I get hostile looks, an exasperated thank you, or totally ignored. I don't go looking for thanks, but it would be nice occasionally!
Seems many ladies these days believe equality doesn't equate to chivalry!

Such is life!

Chris

[Baddad (Marty)]

Hi Everyone,

I attended primary school in the late 50's and early 60's.
I was taught manners then and there. I always am polite. I do find that what you people refer to on the poor use or non use of manners is quite prevalent. I agree with what you say.

I want to add that bad manners is not confined to the areas stated. It also has affected road use etiquette. Particularly by the "P Platers".

A number of times I have been negotiating an exit from a carpark at the local shops. Girl drivers charge in before I can give them adequate room to enter and negotiate into a car park space. It causes congestion and I usually say, " Let a car out before you enter". (stupid) The bracketted word is said under my breath.

I think that people see it as a sign of weakness and are afraid to display good manners for fear of being taken advatage of.
Certainly many P Platers behave like that.

Cheers

[astroron (Ron)]

Originally Posted by LewisM

Just a general observation - where has THANK YOU gone from our society? It's not just the teenagers - I find it more in older adults!

Have we just become a faceless consumer society where even simple manners like Thank You fall by the wayside?

I have to admit in all my sales here, NOT ONE buyer has ever even said they received their item, let alone a thank you or comment. Even my sales on Fleabay etc are the same, regardless of where the item goes.

Sad how our society is heading now. We expect, with no return manners.

I have noticed that too, also there are people on here who don't give one the courtesy of a reply when you send them PM's or post on their thread's
Cheers

[Kunama]

I agree with you wholeheartedly Chris,
I opened a door for a 'lady' about my age recently only to be told:
" I can get my own door thanks" in a terse statement.

Such a shame.

[Irish stargazer (John)]

Originally Posted by AstralTraveller

Manners are not dead, though perhaps they are not always as we would like. I agree with H about the internet (and I'm probably part of the problem there) and I find mobile phone junkies rude (the ones who can't keep up a face to face conversation because they are texting five others at the same time). However in other areas people are pretty good. On campus queues are respected and people give way at doorways etc. When I ride the shuttle bus nearly everyone thanks the driver as they alite and space is made and seats vacated for old, infirm etc as needed. Naturally there is some variation in behaviour and I have to say they the most likely demographic of the rude or ignorant is younger (early teen?) Australians while perhaps the most courteous is a racial group that receive bad press in some quarters.

Lewis, many years ago when I worked in sales the same thing happened to me. So I took down the order then finished by confirming the order and their name and company - of course getting the last bit wrong on occasions because I didn't know every voice. After a few weeks the more astute customers started to specify their name at the start of the conversation.

I use public transport where I can to avoid traffic jams in the morning rush hour via a short bus ride a a 15 minute train ride. I do find most people thank the bus driver on exiting. What gets me is the almost total lack of eye contact on the train as most people are stuck into their smartphones. It seems to be a way of avoiding any kind of contact. I wouldn't refer to it as impolite but as a sign of the times.

[TrevorW]

I commute daily and children who pay a 50c fare

theres a sign that says

"Students etc who pay a conc fare should stand for adults" not must

it really pees me off when I and others pay $8 and upwards for our fares daily and children are not made to stand

society and parents have created a mob of selfish inconsiderate little darlings

[LewisM]

I must admit, I am pretty average here at answering any PM's let alone seeing them - this BBS is one of the only ones I frequent that does NOT pop up with a "new private message" pop up when you refresh a page etc. I have gone weeks without even checking my inbox here, mainly due to being used to being told there was a message.

Ron, sometimes it is more appropriate not to answer than to answer with what may cause more issue. Detente, per se OR even dog chasing it's tail. It was wiser to leave the entire thread as-was, seeing it was going nowhere fast.

[LewisM]

P Platers - just young, brash, bold and TOTALLY inexperienced. Though of course, they know everything.

Having gone back to University to "refresh" a degree, I know all about P Platers. Had cause to use the horn more than a few times last semester And I HATE using horns! (I am the type who will slow down even more if you honk me)

[Allan_L (Allan)]

Perhaps it is just the area I live in, or visit, but I generally find that there are MORE polite people than impolite.
Its just that its the Impolite ones that Bug you and stick in your memory.
IMHO

For me, the important thing is to maintain your own standards and don't expect anything in return. That way you can only be pleasantly rewarded.