Out of action....

[Merlin66 (Ken)]

Some members have noticed my absence from the site.
For the past few months we've been acting as full time carers for my wife's mother (93 yo) who is having difficulties following COVID.
It's 24/7, and we're 150Km from home, library, telescopes and spectroscopes - camping in the spare room.
It's an ongoing situation. Not easy.

[leon]

Hi Ken I do know where you are coming from Ken, we have done that some time back for Alice's ageing Mum.

Firstly because she was not very well and secondly to spare her from the Nursing Home which she dreaded.

We actually moved into her house which made it easier for us I suppose as we were renting at the time, so living and caring in her home made sense, and it was free so to speak.

Have to agree there were some hard days, but we did get through it until she passed away and knew that we had made a difference to her last years.

We actually stayed with her for 9 years, but she was a good sport and we all got on great, the odd moment of coarse but it went well mostly.

It is probably harder for you Ken being so far away from your own place.
I can understand how that would prove difficult at times, there is nothing like your own territory.

Hope it all works out for you soon.

Leon

[JA]

Hi Ken,
Sorry to hear about the difficulties.
Good on you for looking after Mum.

Best
JA

[glend (Glen)]

Hi Ken, such is life, as the saying goes. Our parents look after us, then we look after them as required. It is great that your looking after her. The sky will still be there...

[drylander (Peter)]

We too have to look after the wife's mum who is about to turn 97 and now has dementia. A very bad disease and sad to watch her go down hill by the day. Having seen the reports on nursing homes we can't really see any alternative as the stories are horrendous.
Pete

[DarkArts]

Hang in there, Ken. As hard as it is, you're doing the right thing. Family comes first.

I looked after my father in his final years - over 3 years on and off then full-time/live-in carer in his last 6 months - interstate, too. It was exhausting at every level - physically, mentally, emotionally - and very costly. I also slept in the spare room - in fact it was on the same single bed I had when I was a kid, although by this time it was riddled with mould (I didn't know at the time), which explains the respitory problems.

The most important thing is to make sure your own support system is working and that you have someone (that you trust) with whom to share the burden.

I/we looked at a few care homes in the first year or so, but I wouldn't live in any of them myself (hell, no!), so didn't push the point with my father.

[Startrek (Martin)]

Hi Ken,
Yes Ive noticed your absence , you and your wife are doing a wonderful thing being her full time carer and her support
It’s not easy , my wife and I had to support both my Mum and Dad in their later years ( late 80’s / early 90’s ) and they lived 300km from Sydney
Fortunately the town had some good aged care facilities and after 6 months or so we eventually had to move them at different stages into permanent care due dementia, medical and mobility issues etc
Thanks for letting us know
Best
Martin