Hi Max.
Trial and error for astro snaps..I'm afraid. Obviously the lower the magnitude of the target the longer you want your subs....to a point that longer subs only give you too much noise and sky glow. If you can get away with longer subs..great but I suspect you will see lots of sensor noise and sky glow..a law of diminishing returns from 300s onwards.
Generally from what I have found for many DSOs try: 180s, 240s and 300s snaps. For lets say M42...45s to 120s snaps. A lot Depends upon your scope as well. An F4 Next...30s subs for M42 and an F10 SCT around 180s and more are probably needed.
If you can get away with longer..great but I suspect you will see lots of sensor noise and sky glow when going longer than 300s.
We mentioned factors that effect sub exposures...but by taking lots of subs you are effectively taking a longer exposure. So the more subs the better the
signal to noise of the final image.
Dithering is moving the scope/camera/mount a pixel or so (or more) in the pause between subs. What it does is allow DSS (your stacking software) to recognise hot pixels/noise/banding/dust (artifacts) more easily and remove them. You do not have to do it every sub..lets say every few. Of course there is software that can "auto dither" for you.
I probably shouldn't haven't mentioned dithering just yet..as it's probably something that you may want to try with a little more experience. Probably best to just get the basics at this stage.
That said..there is a discussion on
CN right now about DitherMaster if you wish to read up on it. Ivo, who has written a camera control piece of software,
APT, is incorporating auto dithering in his next release and
Guyroch is also doing this in his camera control software. You may be interested in this..or at lest file it away to try in the future.
You are doing very well and should be congratulated.

Keep our chin up..it is a one step fwd 2 steps back learning curve...and only those that make mistakes will learn.