Thanks for the feedback.
First take away (to use a wanky management term

) is more practice. I get that and concur.
Second thing is this collimation. I've had a crack at this before with the andyshot glass video. I went through this many times again this morning and some things are starting to click. The sceondary mirror circle and the grey part being the secondary mirror holder. I finally get that. I think i have been distracted with too many things being seen further down the OTA to actually be looking closer at the secondary mirror... cool.
I think the key was to abandon all fear and really get into it and start turning screws and figuring out what was actually happening to the bits and pieces. I figured what's the worst that can happen, the secondary mirror comes off completely. So long as the OTA was horizontal it would be OK.
Anyway, my excitement at getting this far is making me rant.
So i think i've got the secondary mirror lined up and tilted so that i can see the primary. I move on the primary to get the spider vane aligned.
After all this the laser collimater is pointing straight out the top. I loosen off the locking screws and withdraw the hex adjusting screws all the way and the mirror shifts visibly and now at least the laser is all internal.
I adjust the hex screws until the laser is centred on the collimator. Lock the screws. All should be OK. However, looking back through my (homemade) collimating cap, the spider vane is not centred.
I thought the rear adjustments should have fixed this. What now.
Actually, rereading i just had a thought. I'll still leave this for feedback but i may need to collimate my collimator.
thanks