Does anyone care?

xelasnave · #1 27-02-2023, 12:01 AM

I have to have a grizzle..well not a grizzle because it is all just good stuff sent to build my character and I am most grateful.

But certainly I hope others may feel triggered to share their recent or past character building experiences.

OK I am sitting in emergency at Lismore Base Hospital which I regard as a second home...

But where to start..the new lump in my neck was starting to worry me because the doctor did not seem interested ...I felt she was like.."How many times do I have to save this guys life"... I can understand so often she must be getting bored..but to start... when I started setting up my new rig with the centre piece an old eight inch newtonian..this took my mind off the lump..I guess I am over sensative to lumps in my neck simply because of one negative experience....right there setting up the new rig was when the character building started...First I could not find the coma corrector!!! Now living in a van makes that rather frustrating because well it is a very small space..but I could not find it...so I ordered a new one which meant the old one would turn up..and it did on the same day the new one arrived...but I knew that would happen as I was have had that lesson many times with various things over the years.. I take the mirror out and clean it but it takes hours to get the damn thing back in tube...most frustrating ...so now I can put it all together with the new coma corrector, OAG, and new filter wheel and main and guide camera and I had to angle grind a piece to connect the camera...all good....but hold on the new guide camera does not work..I cant wait for all this replacement drama so I order another..so now neither the new guide camera works or the new zwo 2600...my character is already bullet proof so do I need this...OK do this and that over days and finally at least the 2600 worked..and so did one of the new guide cameras...I tested them on the 115 mm rig and of course when transfered it all back to the eight inch the guide camera did not work..anyways a few test shots and finally dial in PA on the new zwo harmonic drive mount..mmm the thing needs some fancy collmination but my thingy is in Sydney so lets just buy another...prices were off putting..but happily the place where I recently bought a kilo of bismuth had something for $27 so I ordered that ..maybe not enough but better than nothing and gives me time to decide if I really want to keep throwing money at this eight inch..it was after all just a placeholder for a new Askar 130...so last night I decided not to waste any more time on the eight inch and do some imaging with the RASA...the Statue of Liberty here I come...well off we go but what this!?! star trails??? Do what I may the guiding was crazy..do another PA..but guiding just would not work..the graph showed two lines red and blue heading in opposite directions off the scale...OK nothing works so lets go to bed...but the inverter switches off when I press the remote for the roof!!! It just wont respond ..OK start the genny..the one I just had repaired and serviced...mmm...wont start???!!!! OK then start the " old" one...great it is running but hang on there is no current going anywhere..no matter what I did I could not power up the motor for the roof...OK get out the block and tackle and get it closed ...what now it jammed when only half closed..mmm get up on the step ladder ( for me a life threatening move) and remove the guide as that seems to be grabbing..yes..so I get it closed...off to bed wondering why the guiding was crazy.

Wake up this morning and I could not move because of the worst pain ( and I have had all variations) ever in my lower back...bed ridden unable to move ...I managed to get up to go to the toilet an hour exercise because of the crippling pain... the pain was insane..it was so bad that when I got back to the bed I could not even move to lay down..it was over the top...so when I finally managed to lay down I lay there until 3 pm and thought I better go to hospital as this cant be normal...so my Ex drives me into Casino Hospital there some hours they then send me to Lismore Hospital and now my character is being raised to a new level as they are keeping me here all night...I have not had back problems other than that big operation years ago so I just cant imagine straining it etc...

But it has put the camera problems in perspective..they are not that bad...the guiding has me baffled...perfect one night and crazy the next..but I can see it all clearly now..all this is to get my mind off the lump in my neck...life is just so good to me...

I probably left stuff out but I think I can say that last night was somewhat disappointing.

Alex

Saturnine (Jeff) · #2 27-02-2023, 12:36 AM

Sorry to read about your latest character building episode(s) ,the medical ones that is. Hope that the cause of the pain disappears quickly. Perseverance, stoicism and stubbornness seem to be your main attributes Alex. As for the astro related tests of character, a lot of us have been there at varying times but you seem to suffer more of them than you deserve but battle on, the forces do align occasionally.

xelasnave · #3 27-02-2023, 04:14 AM

Thank you Jeff and to know that just one person does care somehow makes it entirely bearable.

Astronomy and Astro Photography in particular has made me realise that no matter how dark things present there will be found a solution and so I realise that all my medical issues will be fixed and to worry in the least although tempting is just a waste of energy.

I must say it is so very nice sleeping in a bed that does not have other stuff stacked upon it and that you can adjust to raise your feet etc.

They gave me some top shelf pain killer and thank goodness it has worked such that I now feel embarrassed for being such a sook.

We ( I am) are so lucky to live in these most wonderful times ..can you imagine living say 500 years ago in that era when I would be long dead by now having died much younger and probably happy to do so due to a miserable depressing existence bathed in ignorance and superstition and no astro imaging gear...The experience helps me realise just what an incredibly lucky person I am and what an extraordinary wonderful life I get to enjoy...yes top shelf pain killer but has enabled me to see past the pain and to start thinking realistically.
Thanks for taking your time to offer encouragement I sincerely appreciate your kindness.
Alex

leon · #4 27-02-2023, 06:35 AM

Alex reading your story just shows how strong you really are and seem to overcome all obstacles thrown at you, most people with your health issues would have given up long ago.

You are an inspiration to all and when hurdles come my way i often think, and say to my self, " Well Alex can do this so can I"

Your back pain may have been the result of your ladder experience, it doesn't take much to upset that area, Ask Alice, sometimes she just makes the bed and it off for a week and can hardly walk.

That is why her Son used to say, "see mum that's why I never made the bed when I was younger"

Stay well my friend,

Leon

xelasnave · #5 27-02-2023, 07:46 AM

Good Morning Leon.

What a pleasure it is to read your kind words particularly to think that some way I can be of help for you.

AND thank you for telling me about Alice and how her back can cause her difficulty without all that much effort as strangely that gives me hope...I am hoping for muscular issue as opposed to kidney problems you see.

I may have caused the problem now that I think more by painting the internal walls of the observatory on Friday...I was sitting down but when you think about it you do move around a great deal.

Anyways it is nice to be here and very nice to find the drugs give decent relief.

Thanks again and please give my regards to Alice and tell her I am sorry to think she has to experience such an issue.
Alex

Crater101 (Warren) · #6 27-02-2023, 08:31 AM

Mate, I can only wish you all the very best for a full recovery. As someone who is recovering from their own "lump in the neck" issues (Thyroid) I can understand your concerns. Don't dismiss them, listen to your body and don't leave things too long to get some attention.

I hope that your back issue isn't anything too major, and that you'll get back to some imaging soon. Who knows? If you did leave something on for a prolonged period, you might have some serious data to process that would be the envy of major observatories!

Good luck with it all!

Startrek (Martin) · #7 27-02-2023, 08:56 AM

Alex,
Like many others I always admire your courage , tenacity and positive outlook on life.
Hopefully you will be back in Tabby soon in your Obs under those dark skies
Take care

Best always
Martin

Nikolas (Nik) · #8 27-02-2023, 09:18 AM

This explains why you are such a "Character" Alex, best of luck with your back.

Swagman105 (Geoff) · #9 27-02-2023, 09:34 AM

Alex
May have some idea of what your going through. Have had back spasms in the past and the words “back spasm” doesn’t do the intense crippling pain they involve justice. Found myself crawling on all fours to the bathroom to attempt a a pee (might have to reprocess that image a little).
Have appreciated your thoughtful and helpful replies to some of my posts and wishing you a speedy recovery and back to doing what we all love.
Cheers Geoff

xelasnave · #10 27-02-2023, 10:54 AM

Unfortunately they think it is cancer in my spine but I know they are just playing a little joke to cheer me up and you can bet they will come clean and tell me it was just a strain and make me feel as if they cured me.

Whatever ...it is what it is...I certainly am not going to let it ruin my day...and so lets get it out there ..my reality needs an update thats no big deal.

The good news is the pain killers manage the pain so really there is no problem ..not that I would let that pain ruin my day either.

The man to look to for character ...Mr Steven Hawking..professor that is...now there is a real man my situation is wonderful compared to his life...

Anyways having a great day and thank for caring ..believe me it really makes all the difference...you guys make me a better person that is for sure..

You watch they will back down on the cancer call.

Alex

AstroViking (Steve) · #11 27-02-2023, 11:17 AM

Alex,

I have to say that you are an incredible character - where many of us would be giving up you just keep on going.

I'm looking forward to seeing you back in your observatory and showing us the amazing images you capture.

glend (Glen) · #12 27-02-2023, 11:36 AM

Alex, I seem to recall that around this time last year the medics did not give you much encouragement, yet here you are, still looking at the upside of your situation. Keep moving forward with your favorite activities, drive the little red car, buy the girls flowers, and enjoy every day.

And yes, many of us care.

raymo · #13 27-02-2023, 12:00 PM

I don't know where to start Alex. You not long ago said that I inspire newbies
with my short exposure static tripod images; well you inspire everyone here
from the health and perseverance perspective. I admire people who battle
adversity. My wife has MS, Lymphoma, Cardiomyopathy, and a bugger of a thing called Cold Agglutinin, how she keeps going I don't know.
Anyway, all the best for the future.
raymo

xelasnave · #14 27-02-2023, 12:27 PM

Thanks everyone...the secret of my success is the wonderful support from the folk here and that is a fact.

You guys give me the reason to win.

Still no new news but I just got lunch in bed...so who is doing it tuff now??!

Alex

xelasnave · #15 27-02-2023, 04:43 PM

OK it seems that my earlier call was more correct than not...I have had a long chat with my Oncologists assistant who advised I have disk prolapse which explains the pain and she went thru what they may or may not do but where the cancer scare came from was there is a reason why it happened and that reason may be cancer ...why not say that and not frighten an old man terrified of pain and dieing...well I am not terrified but heck imagine how most sane people would take that original comment...a good reason to slash your wrists for goodness sake...so cancer would now seem rather remote... cancer is not off the table but given the fact that relatively recently I put in an additional two piers...some 50 plus bags of concrete and driving some forty odd star pickets into the ground I think it is not unreasonable to suspect that some where those projects have caused the disk problem...OK wishful thinking but that is my call on the matter.. also cancer should have showed some how in the blood tests ... So I think I am being rational, measured and somewhat objective...
But now they have backed off doing the MIR and want to discharge me but my lift has gone and given she did not get home until 1-30 am after hanging around yesterday and today was a big shop day with many other things on her to do list and as they said I would be getting a MIR and them saying that I would not be going home today...well...the fact that other folk have plans and things to do seems list on them...
Anyways I am staying so the sooner they fit my Reality the better for them.... now I have just got news that the assistant who was to return and tell me what is going on merely left a note on my file .. but the deal is pain killer and physio...oh they now have told me the hospital ate getting me a taxi home...so what an exciting day and a lot better outcome than I was playing in my mind.

Thanks for listening and and thanks for all the support .
Gotta go so be prepared for an edit later.

Alex

Saturnine (Jeff) · #16 28-02-2023, 09:37 AM

Hi Alex

To answer your original question, Does anyone care. Obviously, yes we care. The collective or IIS forum members, though mostly anonymous to each other, are still like a ( very) large family and you are the lovable eccentric uncle and wouldn't have it any other way.

xelasnave · #17 28-02-2023, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saturnine

Hi Alex

To answer your original question, Does anyone care. Obviously, yes we care. The collective or IIS forum members, though mostly anonymous to each other, are still like a ( very) large family and you are the lovable eccentric uncle and wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks Jeff.

To round off the story...the hospital did get me a taxi home and picked up the tab..$268...the matron was a very head strong lady and she would not accept that I had no way of getting home...it was a battle of wills...she's being a head strong character that must have things done her way and me a reasonable man but placed in a situation where I could not leave, happy to compromise, but I am staying...so she comes back and says with glee..the hospital is getting you a taxi so get your things together...now was my opportunity for victory over her head strong steam roller mentality..." Oh thank you so much, you could see how I really wanted to get home and you made it happen and honestly I can't tell you how happy I am and how much I appreciate you doing this for me thank you"....I don't know but I just love watching the blood drain from an opponents face when I deliver the knock out punch...that moment when they realise they have been nailed and wonder just how it happened...teach her to fool with a helpless defenseless old man.....

And the ultimate irony given I see things like a movie and that I am the hero experiencing extreme highs and low etc....well I am in the taxi and we come over the mountain and before me is the most beautiful Sun set so I thought what a day and the hero rides into the Sunset .... the more I think about it the disk problem is the more likely to be due to some of the heavy work I have been doing...they probably say cancer just because I have cancer problems....anyways got hold of my favorite girl at the doctors and she got me in to see the doctor on the same day as I see the radiologist.... and my Ex insists on driving me in saying I should not be driving given the type of pain killer...true you can notice it for sure...I will run out of what they gave me at the hospital but I squirelled away some morphine sulphate that will get me thru but I am hoping it will just go away....

So I slept very well and not suffering as I write this but I will put off chopping the wood until this afternoon ( joke alert but I suppose I could be that silly without much effort) ...

Thanks again for the support it really makes all the difference.

Alex

croweater (Richard) · #18 28-02-2023, 12:16 PM

Glad things worked out for you Alex. My experience with hospital matrons is that being headstrong is a job criteria. They tend to be no nonsense and will not suffer fools and worse. They dont have the time. (Not calling you a fool Alex). I have met a few and they have all been women to be admired. Feared a little as well. They are the epitome of the saying " If you want a job done, ask a busy person.".
Hope you are getting better fast.
Cheers, Richard

xelasnave · #19 28-02-2023, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by croweater

Glad things worked out for you Alex. My experience with hospital matrons is that being headstrong is a job criteria. They tend to be no nonsense and will not suffer fools and worse. They dont have the time. (Not calling you a fool Alex). I have met a few and they have all been women to be admired. Feared a little as well. They are the epitome of the saying " If you want a job done, ask a busy person.".
Hope you are getting better fast.
Cheers, Richard

Hi Richard thank for the good wishes...I was trying to be humorous because in her defence others had told me I would not be going home and she was after all fixing a mess created by others who really should have asked her first...And for the record, as I have been under her care in the past, she is indeed a woman to be admired...
Thanks again.
Alex

BuyoTheAstroCat · #20 28-02-2023, 02:17 PM

I care. Enough to read this whole post. It is a long post so that shows how much I care. If writing long post will help you take your mind off things and alleviate your problems, I will gladly read them all.

I do not know you, but I do care.
Hope you feel better soon.
And have no guiding problems.