'Tis now Christmas morning and outside the door, there's no snow to be seen, we're on for 34.
I can't see the city thru all of the smog and I miss Harrod's windows and proper egg-nog.
There's lights and some deccos but it must be said, that Chrimbo in summer is doin' my head.
I guess I'll survive, but the spirit's not here: I miss snow, I miss sleet, I miss warm crappy beer.
You can't here the carols 'neath the Cockatoos din and I can't put up stockings the Huntsmen crawl in.
The Kangaroos eat all the balls off the tree and it's barbequed prawn instead of Tur-kee.
The telly is rubbish (thank God that's the same), but you can't use a real tree - bushfires are to blame!
Of a old fashioned present, you'll find not a jot. You can't re-gift woollies it's too bleeding hot.
And instead of nice Christmas night down the pub, they all want to go surfing and sun-screen to rub.
I can't see the attraction, not one of my larks.
Each year half a dozen are eaten by sharks.
It's no wonder poor Santa looks at Oz with dread.
Its the dust from the desert turns Rudolph's nose red.
The rest of the reindeer the outback do shun - it's crawling with nutters, each one with a gun!
I can see now why Jesus wasn't born in Oztraalia, just getting three wise men is doomed to failure.
Mary'd be 'Kylie' with a Queenslander's twang and sit drinking Foster's as the angels they sang!
I'll stop whining now for wherever you are, at least you can drink and pass out in the car.
So enjoy it however if you're warm or you shiver:
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and a spanking new liver.
Great to hear that you are enjoying this sunburnt country at the Ultimate time of the year. Just think, you have experienced Christmas on two side of the globe. Not a lot of people have done that.
It's 40 years or more since England I left
The cold and the fog and grey skies that depress
The crowds and ice that make walking a mess
So here I sit in garden with shine
And crave for the cold at this one time
but the beer is hot and taste it is foul
So here I will stay and take the sun shine
)
