[xelasnave]

One tends to think only about one self and how the world is often not dealing them the best hand.

The recent rain I find is "getting to me" and less than happy with the hand being dealt.

I have been thru what some could call a difficult time for the past 18 months if you focus only upon my health issues but I dont see it as a negative but as with all things there is a positive you can look at to make it all acceptable.

My positive was forming a determination not to waste a single moment or entertain any negative thought or indulge one single thing that did not entirely suit me or if I had to perhaps suffer something I did not like, like weekly blood tests, to turn the event into something cheerful..I would see my blood tests as a nice drive to town and the opportunity of seeing a nice lady who would hold my arm..that sort of approach...it became fun.

I used the realization that life is very short and finite to justify extravagant expenditure on astronomy gear that once I would not buy, it was not the money but such behaviour I felt was childish in effect given I see hobbies as an accumulation of toys. I already felt my expenditure to date was flippant...but the cancer thing changed my attitude and so I spent a fortune ( to me) on a new scope, a huge mount and two cameras and a red sports car to boot..I mean that is the epitome of stupid right there...happily I love that little car as it fits like it was built to fit me..the auto and manual paddles on the steering wheel is perfect for me..

BUT this rain ..this seemingly non stop rain..it is getting to me ...well it did yesterday prior to that I lived with it telling myself being here is better than bushfires..and it is really..however yesterday cabin crazy hit me bad and I suffered ...at least until I got a grip and I did so by facing reality which is there is always someone else doing it harder than you are and that alone is good reason not to grizzle.

I usually don't grizzle and dislike hearing folk who are well off by any standard complain about trivialities but here I was thinking about how terrible it was that I could not drive my little red car out the drive or play with my telescope toys...AND then I thought "I wonder how those poor devils in Lismore are going with this added rain" and thinking about their situation some with every thing gone brought me to my senses.

We know one poor chap who like me lived in a caravan and had a nice car, an old mint mustang ..his pride and joy and like me he had his van set up neat functional and personalised..folk say to me how can you lived in a van but they don't understand just how neat it is .. now that poor devil lost his car..gone they know not where and the van totally trashed and a minimum of possessions could he salvage...so one should not grizzle.along side that poor man..and I guess he could rationalise that unlike some he was alive.

If my scopes get mold and the rag top on the car falls apart..my worst fears..I am still better off...

I share my thoughts because they may reach someone who is facing times more difficult than normal and I sincerely hope that I can help them rebuild their fortitude and cherish the day.

Alex