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Whatever I sell here, on eBay or anywhere I get the full amount cleared before even starting to pack up the item. Unless I know the buyer personally then I might ship straight away. If it's to be shipped I do it registered or express with some kind of tracking so there's no unknown and I let shipping costs known before giving the final sales amount. I also liaise with the buyer for updates and ask if they received it.
I think any negotiation is before paying. Once you committed you pay. If you paid you've already committed. If the item is defective you then sort it out with the seller but that has nothing to do with payment.
When I buy I ask for postal address, name, landline, etc... and external email so I have a mean of communication. Otherwise it's a shot in the dark.
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