I hear ya. But I still feel I have to say this: Collimation is like tying your shoelaces. If you never learnt how to do it, it's really hard. But once you got it, there is nothing to it.
Sounds like a refractor or a Mak might suit you better. For what you want, you will have to spend considerably more than $500 though to get anything half decent. And if you are really as lazy as you say, then you might like a computerised goto scope. But that's still more money. If you have a smart phone or tablet, you may be able to set it up as a guidance computer (by using something like say SkEye). But then if you are really that lazy, you will not do the reading and work required to set it up.
OTOH, with a small scope under suburban skies, your targets worth chasing will be few: the Moon, Saturn, Jupiter, rarely Mars and Venus, few dim deep sky objects, and maybe a double star and open cluster here and there. There is no point having a goto scope when most of what it goes to is barely visible specks or smudges of light.
So perhaps a 4" ED / semi-apo refractor or a 5-6" Mak on a solid AZ mount would suit you best??
Good luck!
