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Okay, I'll add one of my favorites...sorry in advance if it is inappropriate...and never ever drink and drive!
Imagine the southern dixie area and all of this spoken with the heavy US drawl...think "Dukes of Hazard"...
Two rednecks named Bubba and Earl are driving in their pick-up truck (with mounted gun rack and dogs in the back) drinking Budweiser longnecks (a popular US beer in glass botles)...up ahead on the highway Bubba notices a state trooper roadblock and he begins to get nervous (as drinking and driving are illegal)...Bubba says to Earl "Hey Earl, what are we gonna do?"...Earl says calmly to Bubba..."Don't fret nun Bubba, just do what I tell ya to do...peel off one'em beer labels from the bottles and slap it on your forehead like this"...Earl demonstrates the technique and Bubba follows suit...
Soon Bubba and Earl pull up to the state trooper roadblock and the trooper approaches the pick-up...
"Evening boys" says the trooper looking inside the truck and seeing Bubba and Earl with beer labels stuck to their foreheads...
"You boys been drinking?" asks the state trooper...
Earl replies, "No sir, we is on the patch!"....
This describes most of my family!!!
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