I have not observed for quite some time, but through my 12'' dob I would say that M104 is slightly brigher but that is probably because it is much smaller.Considering favoritism,both are equally impressive probably leaning towards M104.
I hope to try to view these wonderful galaxies soon.
Regarding Ngc 253, it is quite spectacular in a 12'' you should be able to see a considerable amount of detail if your at a dark site.Also try and view Ngc 55 it is a very unique galaxy, a joy to observe.
Clear skies
regards Orestis
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