[MLyons (Martin)]

The one night, while relaxing and settling down to a night of observing, I got a cold shiver down my spine which was a tell-tale sign that something was amiss.........

Then I realised......I forgot to put my jumper on.......

Anyways, once I had put on some warm clothing, I spent many hours wandering around the sky revisiting all my old favourites while I kept an ear out for the wild African night time sounds everyone is so familiar with...............you know, the screaming kids, the odd gunshot and............oh wait, wrong story.........I meant the giggling Hyenas, the Grunting Lions, the rustling of the bush as a lost ranger passes by in his Landcruiser.......and of course, the nagging missus......

Suddenly............a menacing hush befell the African plains.....even the crickets fell silent............. I all at once became aware of the fact that there was a seething, vicious, predator on the prowl in the dark African night closing in on me......I froze on the spot..........too afraid to move, lest I become the prey of the night.........I saw the ugly face, the intense gaze from fiery eyes, the steam from the nostrils like a Wildebeest on the run........then it happend.......

All I remember hearing was: "It's your turn to wash the dishes so you better get your lazy butt back here before you start playing with your bl&&$y toys and get your chores done. Why do I always have to do everything around here and pick up after you lazy, goodfernuthin' slobs....and by the way, don't forget to take out the garbage and your new little puppy dog has pooped in the passage so you'd better get some cleaning stuff and sort it out............I was traumatised.

Frankly, I'd prefer to get eaten by a real lion or trampled by an elephant....at least it'll only happen once and that'll be that.......