[ngcles]

Hi Paul,

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I'm on Facebook and quite enjoy it, even though I don't have hundreds and hundreds of friends.

As a parent myself I can understand your feelings and I guess I'm lucky with my one who is perfectly content to have me as a friend.

I'd suggest that you create a rule that after a couple of weeks that he is allowed on FB provided he adds you as a friend with full access (you will have to join), but don't comment directly on FB to him if you think he is doing the wrong thing, do it privately at home otherwise you will humiliate him in front of his friends. The only thing you won't be able to see are conversations in chat with other friends.

His excuse (rightly or wrongly) is somewhat valid; it's pretty sad but the current generation do speak to each other like that and it is pretty normal (not that I'm endorsing it -- it's just a fact). I know that even the teachers at public high schools sometimes even speak to the kids with language littered with invective. I find it disappointing that people can't seem to speak without every other word being (you know what). I'm no Sunday School teacher -- I was a copper for 22 years and if you want to hear some blue language, work in a police station, there's nowhere worse. That's part of the reason I don't use invective unless I am really severely provoked (like dropping a sledgehammer on my foot) -- I wanted to stand out from the crowd as someone who could communicate effectively (even while expressing strong emotions) without resort to invective.

I'm lucky (again) my 20 year old has never said anything on FB that I wouldn't be happy for her to say to her granny. That's just the way she is -- she really hates the continual swearing and sexual stuff. I think she may have caught that from me.

Best of luck with it -- its a difficult area and being an effective parent is a tough job in this day and age. Don't blame yourself.


Best,

Les D