Hey Dave dont be too hard on yourself its always the equipments fault
Looking at the trails I think you may be dealing with a balance issue causing your RA to move a little too fast or a little too slow.. maybe. I have only tried the following once so it is not a proven method but to get polar alignment I turned off the drive motors with the scope pointing at the pole taking exposures long enough to see circular trails, after each shot I adjusted the mount closer to where I determined the centre, the final shot showing parts of circles with the centre in the centre of the photo, I expected to have to adjust further with individual stars but it seemed spot on when I tried to do that. AND just take heaps of shots with the focus either side of where you think it is spot on ... the harder you work at something the more good luck you enjoy.
alex