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I have a personal account on Facebook, Clive - so it's nothing to do with IceInSpace.
Facebook can search your gmail/email contacts for people to 'ask to join facebook' - as was done to you by your wife's girlfriend.
In the past I've done that and it's probably remembered that your email address was in my contact list too, so it's trying to entice you to join facebook because other people in your contact list are also on facebook.
It's not 'big brother' but no doubt Facebook uses whatever information it can in your email list etc to give you 'personalised' information and try to entice you to join.
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