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Then there's the theory that intelligent life destroys itself. It could be that life is common but intelligent life is rare. The aggressive, competitive nature that served us well in early human development might kill us through misuse of weapons, environmental degradation, artificial offspring that turn on their creators, etc.
Does human nature need to change in order to avoid destruction of civilisation? Do we need to kill all the men? Do we need to genetically alter ourselves? Or will we squeak through, with our behavioural development catching up to our technological development?
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