I can tell you now, Suzy, the maths is hard for all of us, regardless of how well we understand the theory
What you need to do is take things one at a time...start off with the simple stuff...Newton, Maxwell, etc...i.e. learn all about Classical physics (e.g. atoms, light, gravity etc), before you get into quantum mechanics, relativity, supersymmetry, string and m-theory etc etc. That way, you'll find it much easier to understand the harder aspects of the subject.
The way you're approaching it by writing down what they say is good. Keep those notes and read them as often as you can. It'll stick eventually
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Regarding mater & anti matter.... Equal amounts will inialate back into pure radiation, and there will be no stars and galaxies. For every billion particles of matter, there is a billion and one of anti matter.
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A correction....it's the other way around...for every billion particles of antimatter, there was one billion and one of matter
Otherwise, we'd all be antimatter now