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I hope it works out for you, maybe medication can help, I saw one relationship where meds was working, then apparently she went off them and it ended up with a friend being called in the middle of the night as she had a knife, the police ended up being called to resolve it. I wasn't there but know all the people involved.
As much as people love each other, violence is unacceptable, it's not just yourself- you have children, seek professional medical help and get professional advice for yourself.
It's such a delicate matter, but if you have had 5 years of hell it's also very serious.
All the best.
Clive.
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