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Very unhappy time for you Ben, I feel for you.
I do not know the specifics of the two incidents of violence that you refer to but in such cases one must consider the children in regard to safety and wellbeing too as of utmost importance, you will need to do something here too.
Contrary to popular belief, perpertrators of domestic violence are not all men, depending on which reaserch you look at it is about 50/50 male/female so don't think you are the only bloke out there going through this sort of thing and seek help.
Best of luck mate
Mike
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