[ngcles]

Hi Jeanette & All,

First up, thanks JJJ for starting such an interesting and in many ways "courageous" thread.

Chris, I'm sorry to hear about your split-up mate. Divorce is one of the most stressful events in life and wish you well. Hope it's as amicable as it can be in the circumstances.

Having spent twenty years of my life in courtrooms as a prosecutor, I've seen hundreds that go really bad and in those situations there is only one winner -- the lawyers.

The hatred, the revenge, the tit-for-tat and the violence is hard to watch. Could I tell a story or two about that!

So far as you possibly can mate, make it amicable and look forward to better times down the track. They will come.

Back to the subject at hand.

Boy do I envy you guys who have ambivalent or better supportive spouses.

No such luck here.

We're often in a state of "limited war" or at best a cold truce over the subject of astronomy. Whether it's time or money or lack of attention or ... something, it’s rarely a happy subject around the dinner table.

Things are less tense nowadays than they were say fifteen years ago when my daughter was young but still, it's a rare occasion when anything astronomical is "encouraged". I have never once missed a family event, school event, medical appointment etc etc the whole time my girl grew up (no, not even a single one) but was often accused of giving the family the "spare-time". My "jobs" are always done, the bills paid, I'm good with helping with the housework (no I really am) but that seems to cut no ice -- at all.

Money spent on astronomy used to be a difficult subject too. I am very, very fortunate that I've got a couple of small part-time "astronomy jobs" so whatever I've spent on astronomy, five or six times more from astronomy has gone into the kitty over the years.

I think for many of us, the art is negotiating a balance that will limit at least the arguments (... thank you Captain Obvious). Easier said than done and what works for one, won't necessarily work for all.

My best mate (apart from my wife who I still love dearly despite all this) Gary owns a 20" and is in precisely the same boat as myself when it comes to spousal relations. We frequently commiserate with each other over the subject.

At least it's good to know we're not alone ...



Best,

Les D