i had a heart attack last year, and was briefly in hospital.
During the worse of it, i remember lying there, and feeling very comfy, kinda cold, but not uncomfortable at the same time, i remember feeling kinda disconnected, like i was there, but not quite there, and then i heard a noise, like white noise, like the noise from an old TV with the aerial out, the noise that accompanies "snow" on the TV. It was very faint, but within seconds it got louder, and louder, and louder until it was all encompassing, and i was screaming inside my head, as it got louder and louder, all of a sudden, i remember the noise just stopped, and there was a wooshing, rushing sensation, but it felt different, it felt like i was travelling along but not moving, if you can imagine driving a car on a treadmill, as the scenery whizzes past you, then thats a very rough approximation, all of a sudden it stopped, although i kept moving, i felt like i had been pulled violently, and was being pulled up and back, and all of a sudden i felt like a child again, and there was someone holding my hand, firmly, but not overly so, i felt my fingers slipping through this imaginary hand, and at the same time, i felt so utterly scared of letting go, as i knew i couldnt come back, but at the same time, the blackness beyond in itself wasnt scary, it was warm, and comforting, and inviting, and while i remember lying there motionless, being terrified of the unknown, i knew at the same time, there would be nothing to fear. Then, just as i was about to let go, i remember thinking about my family etc, and i grabbed on to the hand, and pulled myself forward, i wanted to see them, it felt like i had broken the surface after swimming up from a great depth, and i had quite a start, like when you dream of falling, and you jump yourself awake before hitting the ground, only to see myself surrounded by medics and equipment etc.
This is quite cathartic, its the first time i have mentioned it, as i dont know what it was, and yet it felt incredibly personal to me, that said, this thread seems like completely the right place to mention it.
