[bojan]

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU, rather than
German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has
therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion
and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI
COM TRU!

Herr Schmidt