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Your barlow lens will double your image scale (make things twice as large) by effectively turning your 9mm into a 4.5mm.
As others have said, you need to optimise your set-up first to get best results. Collimate your 'scope first, then look again with the 9mm. The clarity of what you see will be determined by the 'seeing' conditions. Now that you have a barlow, do a search for the barlow method of collimation. I find it's easier.
Those coloured filters are used to bring out certain details, especially when you are observing planets. I would advise that you get the basics right before you experiment though.
You and your wife will have lots of fun with that 200mm dob. Enjoy the learning process, and remember everyone of us started in a similar way - so there are no really dumb questions.
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