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You also need to be in a dark place away from light pollution. This means getting out of the suburbs and into the countryside. Light pollution will just wash these nebulae both out, no matter how big your scope is.
Also the Lagoon is very large, it may be the case that you are looking in the middle of it and not realise it. In my 8" I usually only see half of the Lagoon in a 25mm. A good sign that you are in the Lagoon is an open cluster with a spiral shape to it.
The Trifid is then a short swing to the celestial north. It is not that large but should fill the eyepiece, and in a 12" shouldn't be too hard to see without a filter.
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