hi, sorry to hear about the troubles. i think we have all been there! i know mine didnt get right until i had had a couple of attempts, each time with a cooler head.
are you using any collimating tools? my laser collimator was only of little help until i learnt about using it with a barlow lens and now its pretty easy to get the collimation very close to perfect.
it doesnt need to be perfect though... near enough is good enough to at least get it out there to take a look !