I feel your pain, David.
Here's my personal favourite: Opening my letterbox to find the trusty ol' "We tried to deliver a parcel today, but unfortunately you were not home to take delivery. Please visit the Post Office to pick up your parcel".
Funny thing is...on a number of occasions I've actually been home all day when they've allegedly tried to make a delivery and left this note! No knock on the door...nada...zip...nudding!!! I have a dog that goes bonkers anytime anyone gets within 20 metres of the front door. It also didn't hear a knock
Onya Aussie Post. Onya.