[AJames]

Attempting to Cross the Bridge of Death.

Bridgekeeper: What is your name?
Arthur: I'm Arthur, the King of the Britons
Bridgekeeper: What is you quest?
Arthur : To seek the Holy Grail!
Bridgekeeper : What is the air speed velocity of an conlader swallow?
Arthur : What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?
Bridgekeeper : Err.. I don't know that.... aaaaaagh!
Bedeuvere; How do you know so much about swallows?
Arthur : Well you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

Q: Why do you think she is a witch?
A: She turned ME into a newt?
Q: A newt?
A: I got better!

Silly French person:

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Brilliant!